June 21, 2016
“I am terrified of losing weight,” says 41-year-old Jeannea. “I’ve seen marriages that get destroyed because one person loses the weight. I don’t want guys to find me attractive at all. I don’t want anybody looking at me, hitting on me, talking to me. I don’t want any attention whatsoever.”
But Jeannea, a married mother of two who weighs 260 pounds, says she’s conflicted because she says she doesn’t like her body and wants to lose 80 pounds.
“I do not like my chin. I have a double chin. My arms, there’s no definition, they’re flabby, they’re wiggly. My belly area, I feel like there’s a second belly hanging out. I also don’t like my butt,” she says.
Jeannea says her husband, Trevor, whom she calls attractive and athletic, supports her desire to lose weight, but that she can’t get past her emotional barriers.
WATCH: How You May Sabotage Yourself Before You Start To Pursue Your Goals
“Nobody is going to hit on the fat girl. It’s like the fat barrier; it’s like a protection,” she says. “Losing weight scares me, so I don’t even try.”
“Do you ever think you’re going to lose weight with that mind set?” Dr. Phil asks Jeannea in the video above.
“No,” she replies.
“This is called approach avoidance. It’s like, here’s the goal, and you’re headed toward it, and the closer you get, the steeper it gets, and you start peeling off, right?” Dr. Phil asks. “The closer you get to actually losing weight, the more anxious you become.”
Dr. Phil reviews some of Jeannea’s internal dialogue -- the real-time, real-language conversation she has with herself every moment of every day – and learns she has had a trauma in her life, and says to her, “There are people who have had trauma and they use body fat like a snow suit. They put it on, and they zip it up and they go through life that way because they feel safe,” he says, explaining that when they start to “unzip” this suit and people start to notice them, they start “zipping it up” again.
WATCH: 7 Reasons Why People Fail to Lose Weight
“We all have our own personal truth that sabotages the pursuit of our goals,” Dr. Phil continues. “If we don’t believe we deserve AAA, five-star life, then we don’t get AAA five-star life. If you don’t decide to star in your own live, who the hell is?”
On Tuesday’s episode, Dr. Phil encourages Jeannea to get healthy for herself – and her children. He gives her tips to adopt healthier habits from his book, The 20/20 Diet: Turn Your Weight Loss Vision into Reality. Watch more here.