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          Seven Questions to Ask if Your Partner Has Been Unfaithful

          May 23, 2006

          An engagement symbolizes a commitment you make to one special person. But what do you do if your spouse has cheated — or you suspect he has cheated — before your big day? Once a cheater, always a cheater? Should you still go through with the wedding? 

          An affair does not necessarily foretell the end of a relationship. How do you decide if you should stay, or cut your losses and move on? Dr. Phil has seven questions to ask to determine if your cheating partner deserves a second chance.

          1. Is this an isolated event or a pattern?
          2. Does your partner own his bad behavior or make excuses for it?
          3. Does he have insight into how he’s hurt you or is he oblivious?
          4. Is he sorry for his choice or sorry he got caught?
          5. Is he willing to clean up his act, or is he in denial?
          6. Is this out of character or does he have an insensitive gene?
          7. Is this a legacy or new behavior?

          The previous seven questions you asked of your partner. One major question you have to ask of yourself is: If you reinvested in this relationship and allowed yourself to trust, and your partner cheated, do you have the depth and strength to recover from it, or would you be emotionally bankrupt?

          Dr. Phil says this final question is the deal-breaker. If you can confidently say that you would have the courage to recover, you can move forward in your relationship with a spirit of optimism.

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