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          The ‘Honey-Do’ List

          October 14, 2002

          Can’t get your spouse to tackle — and then finish — any projects on the “honey-do” list? Dr. Phil has theories as to why some projects are just left undone, and how your marriage can be affected.

          • When a project is done, you open yourself up to criticism. If you’ve got the “I’m not finished with it yet” excuse, you protect yourself. With the completion of any endeavor comes evaluation and judgment. What are you afraid of?
          • Once a project is complete, some people are afraid of having nothing left on the “To Do” list. Leaving it unfinished means that you’ve still got something to attend to.
          • “When momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy,” says Dr. Phil to one husband who’s got unfinished projects in practically every room of the house. “You’re messing with the nest.” Such actions can leave your spouse with the conclusion that she isn’t loved, that you’re not interested in making her happy, and don’t care about what she wants. You may think it’s only an issue of a dangling electrical cord or a panel in the roof, but there’s far more to it.
          • If your spouse’s unfinished projects are really making you crazy, Dr. Phil advises: “You teach people how to treat you.” If it’s not OK with you, draw the line.

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