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          ‘When Should I Give Up On My Dreams?’

          November 15, 2002

          After 10 years of trying to break into the entertainment industry as an actress, Julie, 25, wonders if she should consider pursuing something else.

          She asks Dr. Phil: “How do you know when it’s time to give up on your dream?”

          While going out on audition after audition, Julie has worked as a waitress, a teacher, a babysitter and a personal assistant.

          “Why do you want to be a star?” Dr. Phil asks.

          “I just want to be a working actor,” she clarifies. “I thought this was do-able.”

          Dr. Phil is not one to tell people to give up on their dreams, but he is a realist who believes in having balance. “What I worry about is if you put the rest of your life on hold while you’re waiting for this to happen,” he says. “Wouldn’t it be terrible if you were missing all of these wonderful options that were blowing by you on the side because you were looking in one place?”

          Julie needs to be flexible, advises Dr. Phil. “I guarantee you I didn’t sit in my sandbox when I was 5 years old saying I wanted to have my own TV show one day,” he says. Instead, Dr. Phil was flexible and open to new opportunities as they were presented.

          “Do you really want to be a star, or is what you really want the feelings that you think go with achieving that goal?” asks Dr. Phil. “Is it possible to say that what you really want is to be appreciated, to feel valued and to know that you’re making a contribution? … There might be 100 ways you could achieve that.”

          He suggests that Julie keep striving to be a star, but open up to more possibilities. “Increase your chances of success by having more hooks in the water,” he says.

          And to keep her moving in the right direction, Dr. Phil gets a little help from Ted Danson, who invites Julie to the Becker set for walk-on role.

          “You better not screw this up!” jokes Dr. Phil.

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