Relationship Communication Test

Circle “True” for all of the statements that express at least occasional problems on your part.

1. I often can’t seem to find the right words to express what I want to say.	True	False
2. I worry that exposing myself to my partner will result in rejection.	True	False
3. I often don’t talk because I’m afraid my opinion is wrong.	True	False
4. Speaking up will only make things worse.	True	False
5. I talk too much and don’t give my partner a chance to speak.	True	False
6. I don’t look forward to talking to my partner.	True	False
7. Once I get started in an argument, I have trouble stopping.	True	False
8. My speech is often defensive.	True	False
9. I frequently bring up his or her past failures.	True	False
10. My actions don’t match what I say.	True	False
11. I don’t really listen.	True	False
12. I try to repay anger with anger or insult with insult.	True	False
13. I tease my mate too much.	True	False
14. I talk about really important things too rarely.	True	False
15. I often lie by omission.	True	False
16. I hate it when my partner brings up a problem.	True	False
17. I think it’s important to lay out to my partner all of the complaints I have about him or her.	True	False
18. I state my complaints in a heated manner.	True	False
19. I tend to say, “You always” or “You never,” when discussing my complaints with my partner.	True	False
20. I rarely state my complaints to keep from hurting my spouse.	True	False
21. I don’t like to argue because I feel arguing reflects badly on the relationship.	True	False
22. I don’t like to discuss our negative feelings because it only makes us feel worse.	True	False
23. I don’t feel I should have to bring up what’s bothering me because my partner should already know.	True	False

Scoring

There is no right or wrong number of true or false answers to this test. You should look over your responses to get a feel for where communication problems or perceptions exist.