Relationship Communication Test


Circle "True" for all of the statements that express at least occasional problems on your part.
 

1. I often can't seem to find the right words to express what I want to say.  True  False 
2. I worry that exposing myself to my partner will result in rejection.  True  False 
3. I often don't talk because I'm afraid my opinion is wrong.  True  False 
4. Speaking up will only make things worse.  True  False 
5. I talk too much and don't give my partner a chance to speak.  True  False 
6. I don't look forward to talking to my partner.  True  False 
7. Once I get started in an argument, I have trouble stopping.  True  False 
8. My speech is often defensive.  True  False 
9. I frequently bring up his or her past failures.  True  False 
10. My actions don't match what I say.  True  False 
11. I don't really listen.  True  False 
12. I try to repay anger with anger or insult with insult.  True  False 
13. I tease my mate too much.  True  False 
14. I talk about really important things too rarely.  True  False 
15. I often lie by omission.  True  False 
16. I hate it when my partner brings up a problem.  True  False 
17. I think it's important to lay out to my partner all of the complaints I have about him or her.  True  False 
18. I state my complaints in a heated manner.  True  False 
19. I tend to say, "You always" or "You never," when discussing my complaints with my partner.  True  False 
20. I rarely state my complaints to keep from hurting my spouse.  True  False 
21. I don't like to argue because I feel arguing reflects badly on the relationship.  True  False 
22. I don't like to discuss our negative feelings because it only makes us feel worse.  True  False 
23. I don't feel I should have to bring up what's bothering me because my partner should already know.  True  False 


 Scoring

There is no right or wrong number of true or false answers to this test. You should look over your responses to get a feel for where communication problems or perceptions exist.