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          "My Daughter is Lazy and Entitled"

          March 01, 2013

          Tracy says her daughter, Ashley, 22, and Ashley’s boyfriend, Andrew, 23, are freeloaders who are living rent-free in her home, while she pays all of their expenses — a claim the couple denies. And, Lorrie and Todd say their 13-year-old daughter is spoiled and entitled, but they can’t say no to her.

          Unable to Say No?

          Tracy says her daughter, Ashley, 22, and Ashley’s boyfriend, Andrew, 23, are freeloaders who are living rent-free in her home, while she pays all of their expenses and now struggles to pay her own bills. Tracy says they sleep all day and have turned her beautiful suburban home to filth. She says she’s tried tough love but always caves in. Tracy says she’s now at her breaking point and believes she’s being taken advantage of. “I’m done; I can’t take it anymore,” she says. Tracy says she accepts blame for allowing the situation to spiral out of control.

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          Tracy arrives at the house to show the state of disarray she claims it’s always in, but when she walks in, she’s in for a surprise. And, the mom shares what she calls the worst mistake that she’s ever made.

          Their Side

          Ashley and Andrew deny Tracy’s accusations and say they work part-time for her business and have earned everything she’s given them, but they admit they can’t afford to live on their own. “Right now, we’re going through a pretty tough time,” Ashley concedes.

          Ashley laments on the state of her life. Is she doing all she can to improve her situation?

          Andrew explains the state of the house. And, Dr. Phil tells Tracy what she can do to improve the problem. “You are over-involved.”

          Get-Real Advice

          Dr. Phil calls Tracy out for “parenting from guilt” and tells her it’s time to sever financial ties with Ashley and Andrew, stop enabling them, and start saying no more often. “It’s really easy to not do something,” Dr. Phil says.

          Dr. Phil gives Tracy some tough love. “You’re doing this for you, not for her.”

          “We’ve Created a Monster!”

          Lorrie and Todd say that their 13-year-old-daughter controls their home and has no respect for them. The parents admit that they are fed up but can’t seem to say no to the teen, who they say throws tantrums and manipulates them until she gets her way. “She rules everything we do,” Lorrie says.

          Lorrie and Todd concede they spoil their daughter, even preparing special meals for her and cutting her food, but she’s never satisfied.

          Lorrie and Todd list some of the major problems they are dealing with.

          Dr. Phil tells the couple how their parenting could put them in trouble with the legal system. And, he explains how their 13-year-old’s behavior is a “family problem.”

          Dr. Phil offers to send a therapist to Lorrie and Todd’s home, and they accept the help.

          Tips to Ensure You Don’t Spoil Your Child:

          • Teach your children to have mastery over the world. They must learn when they do A, they will receive B. “It’s an empowering feeling,” Dr. Phil says.
          • Children need to observe themselves recovering from failure. Growth comes from picking themselves up, and dusting themselves off.
          • From an early age, children must know the power of giving to others less fortunate.
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