To find out what women think about sex, comedienne Kathleen Madigan hit the streets of Los Angeles.
Dr. Phil and Kathleen are joined by Dr. Cindy Meston, professor of clinical psychology and the co-author of Why Women Have Sex, Dr. Jennifer Berman, a sexual health expert and recurring guest on the hit show The Doctors.
“We always said, growing up, that women need a reason to have sex and men just need a place,” Dr. Phil jokes.
[AD]Cindy explains that women have similar needs as men. “You always hear that men have sex for physical gratification. Well, in our study, it was the case that, next to being attracted to the person, physical gratification was the main category or reason that women had sex, because it was fun. It was exciting. They wanted the pure, physical gratification,” she says.
“Why do you have sex?” Dr. Phil asks Kathleen.
“Just for fun,” she replies. “I realized, my God, I haven’t thought of anything. After I read all those reasons, I’m like, ‘I should be doing this for a lot more!'”
“Sex for pleasure was one of the more common ones, but we got some real interesting [answers,]” Dr. Meston says. “Lots of revenge sex, where the women would go out and have sex with another man to get back at their partner, who had done something wrong or who had cheated.”
“I think that women have sex, despite the iPods and everything else. Deep down underneath, sex is to feel, when they’re in a relationship, to feel intimate and connected,” Dr. Berman says. “Men only want to have sex for the opposite reasons, so it can become a vicious circle.”
[AD]”But not always,” Dr. Phil says. Facing Dr. Meston, he continues, “Didn’t you say there are some women who actually have sex to infect someone they don’t like with a disease?”
“Yes, absolutely,” she replies.
“You said a lot of them do it for jealousy,” Dr. Phil says.
Dr. Meston confirms, “To either try to get their husbands to be jealous, so that they are reassured that their husbands are still attracted to them, or to prove to themselves, maybe, that they’re still attractive to other men.”
Kathleen takes to the audience to see who is brave enough to give their main reason for having sex.
“Has this changed?” Dr. Phil asks the doctors. “Are there sexual practices more common now that you’re seeing than there used to be?”
“We start early on educating women that we don’t require men to feel pleasure, to feel self-esteem, to feel sexually satisfied in any way, shape or form,” Dr. Berman says. “What you can’t receive without the other person is what I was alluding to earlier, the intimacy, the contact of another body, the connection. So, unfortunately, we need men. No way of getting out of it.”
[AD]”I will say that certainly love and commitment was high up on the list of reasons why women have sex, but there were many women in our research who wanted sex because of the excitement, the adventure,” Dr. Meston says. “They wanted another notch on their belt. They wanted to try men of different ages, ethnicities. Some wanted to take a test drive, they called it. They wanted to make sure the guy was good in bed before they got in a relationship and got anywhere near to commitment.”
“This is like comparison shopping,” Dr. Phil says.
“Absolutely!” Dr. Meston says.