A Family Affair: The Other Woman

The Other Woman
Dr. Phil takes an in-depth look into the aftermath of an affair.
Although she's never met her, Kandi has spoken to the other woman twice. "I believe she is manipulative and vindictive. And she'll do anything to get my husband," says Kandi.
"The first time I called the other woman I wanted to let her know that I'm a real person. And I do have three small boys. Ed is not going to leave his family. She was very mean to me. She told me she was with him the night before. She acted like she has the right to see him. She hangs up with me and then calls him on the cell phone and says, 'I just need to see you one more time.' She called him nonstop. Just constantly. Sending him messages, paging him. She would call him and hang up just to let him know that she's there."
Kandi knew the other woman had a boyfriend before she got involved with Ed. "I always had my suspicions that she was still sleeping with this other man," says Kandi. So she called him and asked. He recommended a paternity test.
After speaking with him, Kandi got a call from the other woman. "She said, 'What do you think you're going to accomplish by calling my ex-boyfriend?' And I said, 'What do you think you're accomplishing by sleeping with my husband?'" A heated conversation ensued, and the other woman hung up on Kandi.
Dr. Phil asks Ed, "How did you feel about the fact that your mistress was being so mean and vindictive and hurtful to your wife and the mother of your children?"
"Well, I didn't feel good about it, but on the other hand, half the time I feel that I'm coming to [the other woman's] defense ... I can identify with both sides. She's pregnant, she's desperate and she feels like we're going to be together. On the other hand, I know I'm a married man, we have three children, I've built a life with my wife. Again, the entire dynamic has gotten so out of control that I'm unable to take a strong stand either way," says Ed.
"Do you have a respect for your wife?" Dr. Phil asks.
"Yes. Well, at the time that I did this, no, obviously."
"You have said that you don't believe you and your wife are intellectually compatible," says Dr. Phil. "Are you saying you think you're smarter than she is?"
"I thought that at the time," says Ed.
Dr. Phil points out that Ed made the comment just that week: "'My wife and I are not intellectually compatible.'"
Ed agrees.

"So are you saying she's not smart enough to be married to you?"
"I think that was the spirit of the comment, but I know that's not true," says Ed.
When asked how she feels about that, Kandi says, "I know he has a degree, but I don't think he's smarter than I am. Obviously."
The audience applauds.
Dr. Phil tells Kandi: "I'm a strong believer that in this world you get what you ask for. If you demand that people treat you with dignity and respect, you're going to come a lot closer to getting treated with dignity and respect than if you don't demand that. I'm getting the feeling here that you wouldn't yell 'Fire' if you were on fire!"
Dr. Phil turns to Ed: "You are confused. You are lost, you are confused and you want to get out of that. I think you really do. And it affects not just you, there's this other child that's not born yet, you have children at home, there's your wife, there's your life. We're going to have to unravel all that."