A Family Divided: A Marriage in Turmoil: Erin, Marty

Anatomy of a Marriage
Dr. Phil counsels a couple in crisis.
"Why had this gotten so bad that you said, 'That's it, I'm shutting this down?'" Dr. Phil asks Erin.


"Marty had two affairs and I never came back from that, I was just so angry and hurt," Erin answers. "I said 'Forget it,' I don't want to do this anymore, the pain is too much.'"


Erin admits that she and Martin have been "existing in the house as roommates essentially."


When Dr. Phil inquires into Erin's love for her husband, she says: "I love the father of my children, I love him because I've been with him for 18 years, but do I love him as my husband, as my partner? No."


Martin easily tells Dr. Phil, "I love her very much."


"Love can mean a lot of different things," Dr. Phil reminds him. "But I assume it means some sensitivity, some caring, some respect, some concern for the other individual...I think all those things are under the love definition."

Dr. Phil to Erin: You say that Martin has a serious problem with lying and deception?


Erin: Oh my God, it's incredible, it's unbelievable. He has the most difficulty telling the truth. He will lie sometimes just to lie. The reason we don't communicate is because everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. I don't know when it's true and not true.


Dr. Phil to Martin: You're at a point now where you have to be absolutely honest. At this point, what the hell do you have to lose? Nothing short of complete and total honesty is going to fix this situation or give you a chance to hold this family together.

On an earlier show, 13-year-old Katherine tells Dr. Phil that although Martin claims to have ended all of his affairs she thinks he is still having one.


"I feel that he's kind of hiding things from us," Katherine says. "He doesn't have any respect for my mom. . .I want my mom to leave my dad because I think she can do way better. I think he's just a weight holding her down," she continues.


Dr. Phil asks Martin how it feels to hear such accusations from his daughter.


"It's like someone sticking a screwdriver in your heart," he says.

"When I met him I thought, 'He's a little immature, but I can get right in there and change him,'" Erin says.


"I think that our marriage is more like a parent/child type of marriage," she continues. "I am tired of living with a 12-year-old boy in a 45-year-old man's body."


"Sometimes I think that she belittles me and treats me like a little kid," Martin says, defending himself.


He feels that Erin doesn't accept him for the person he is.
"My wife is trying to mold me into this person that she wants me to be," Martin says.

Martin's two affairs have been the greatest hurdle for Erin to get over. Learning that he took Alexandra and Katherine to lunch with one of the women with whom he was involved only aggravated her further.


Martin denies the accusation.


"I went to the mall with Alexandra to buy some clothes and we were walking over to the restaurant to get something to eat and this lady happened to be at the restaurant also," Martin explains.


As Erin rolls her eyes in disbelief, Dr. Phil asks her, "You don't believe that?"


"Oh, no," she says.


Martin continues, "Both of these relationships were intimate but there was no sexual involvement in either one."


"Yeah right," Erin says. "I've seen them, they're very beautiful women. Hello, was he dead?"