A Family Divided: Alex Still at Risk

The Backstage Meeting
Dr. Phil sends Alex and Katherine to talk with Jay about boys and dating, plus he has a big surprise for Alex.
After a previous show focusing on Alex and her desire to start dating again, Dr. Phil had a conversation with Marty and Erin backstage.


Dr. Phil explains, "She doesn't consciously know that she is kind of hyper hungry for male attention and acceptance ... She is making some bad decisions here, and that girl is at risk of getting pregnant again."


A concerned Erin replies, "What do we do? Do you put her on birth control? If I put her on birth control, are we condoning?"


"We've got to go back to some teen dating rules," Dr. Phil makes clear to Marty and Erin, telling them that they need to decide together what the rules are, support each other, and stand by the rules.


"She has to earn the trust and privilege about this," Dr. Phil says. "She needs to recognize that you two close ranks and that you are on the same page."

 

Now Dr. Phil is joined on stage by Marty, Erin and Alex.



When Alex confirms that she wants to date again, Dr. Phil asks,
"You do remember that you're just 15, about to be 16?" He turns to Marty and Erin: "Are you OK with her dating at 15?"


"She's going to be driving in a month," Marty says. "Where she goes and what she does ... It's scary."


Erin explains, "What we're looking for is that she's making good choices. She's making healthy choices and sound choices, and she can continue to build on that. And if she builds on that, she'll have more freedoms."

 

"I want to look at what we know," Dr. Phil tells Alex. "You have been sexually active ... You failed to take responsibility for birth control and protection or you wouldn't have gotten pregnant. We know that, correct?"

Alex nods yes.



"If you're sexually active and not using contraception,you could wind up pregnant again. We don't want that to happen," Dr. Phil adds, reiterating that the choices Alex made in the past had better not trigger a downward spiral for her future.Recently, Dr. Phil checked in on Alex
at home via Apple iChat and iSight video conference, and asked her for an update on the boy from the past.


She explains that she is not talking to him anymore. "He just decided that he's 17 and this is his party stage, so I said 'You know what, OK, whatever.'"


"Is there anything that I said last time that struck a chord with you?"


"That my mom kind of knows what she's talking about and my dad does. I mean they have been on this earth longer than I have," Alex replies. She also says Dr. Phil's comments about lowering her standards by dating that guy,

"Kind of ticked me off."


Dr. Phil explains his reason for making those comments. "You are a beautiful, intelligent young woman and you deserve someone that appreciates all of those things in you."


"I understood where you were coming from, and I kind of agree with you, but on the other hand, you really can't help who you care about," she responds.


Dr. Phil tells Alex, "No, but you can be aware that there's a whole other set of opportunities for you out there."

 

Dr. Phil tells Alex to "take a deep breath and relax," with a weekend trip to Dallas and a stay at the Four Seasons. She'll also get the chance to talk to Jay. "He wants to talk to you about things I can't tell you about. What he knows about boys that you don't know, and about some things that will be important thoughts in your life at this point."


"I don't want a pity party," Alex says.


"You ain't going to get a pity party," Dr. Phil explains. "You're just going to get some information, and I think it's really important for you to have."


Alex agrees to go and talk with Jay, as long as Katherine is allowed to go as well.


Dr. Phil says, "It's fine for Katherine to hear everything that's said, because it's going to be real relevant to her coming up real soon. You've got someone who's offering some help. Grab on with both hands and take it."