"Any time that you're feeling anger, then I promise you, it's either hurt, fear or frustration," Dr. Phil explains. "Anger is just an outside manifestation of the real emotions. The reason we express anger is because there's no fear of rejection. That is the safest emotion you can ever have from feeling hurt because you're on the attack."
Dr. Phil tells the man that it is unproductive to react in anger by yelling or name-calling. "What you do is decide, 'Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?' If you want to be right, yell and scream and be self-righteous. If you want to be happy, by getting a result that you can live with, then you'll stay calm and stay plugged in."
"I said if [Katherine] wants to talk about boys, that's your job," he says. "That what I meant when I said pull up a chair. If you had had those constructive conversations with Alex, there'd be
"Right," Marty says.
"You actually have great insights about guys. You really do; we've talked about it. You understand guys. It's not what you say; it's how you say it. Because again, you get scared that she's wanting to talk about boys, and so you just want to blast back and it's an effective way to stop the conversation. You ought to be talking to her around the clock about boys."