A Family Divided: Katherine's Turn: Katherine and Jay

Katherine's Story
Alexandra has her baby and the family reacts!
To help Erin and Martin reconnect with their daughter Katherine, Dr. Phil sends his son Jay to their home where he has an intimate talk with Katherine.

Jay: You've got a new baby in the house. Do you like having him around?

Katherine: I don't know quite yet.

Jay: Do you feel more left out now that the baby's here?

Katherine: Sometimes I'll be talking to my mom and my sister will come in and need help and my mom will leave.

Jay: Do you have a boyfriend?

Katherine: Yes. He pays attention to me and he understands what I'm talking about a lot of the time.

Jay: He gives you love and acceptance and attention? Does he give you what you wish you got at home?

Katherine: Sometimes.

Checking in with Katherine after she speaks with Jay, Dr. Phil asks her how she feels about the letter she wrote requesting that she be adopted by another family.

"Right now I kind of regret it," Katherine says. "I kind of wrote it out of anger."

Dr. Phil asks Erin how she feels about her relationship with Katherine.

"I think it's improving," says Erin.

"Marty, how about you?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I think we have a good relationship, strong," he says.

Dr. Phil and Jay both express concern that Katherine's reliance on her boyfriend to provide love and support is creating an unhealthy pattern.

Dr. Phil tells Katherine that it can be dangerous to fill her emotional needs with someone other than her parents. "You're feeling starved at home and then there's some guy who's like, 'Oh yeah, I understand you, I love you."

Katherine tells Jay that she's never been that close with her dad and that she and her mom have drifted apart as she's gotten older.

"What has your dad done that hurt you the most?" Jay asks.

"When he said that my sister was his favorite," she responds.

"Do you respect your parents?" Jay asks.

"I don't respect my dad that much for the way he treats my mom," she says.

"And what about your mom? Do you want her to be somebody that you would enjoy being around?" Jay asks.

"Yes," Katherine answers tearfully. "I need a mom, otherwise I'm going to grow up and be a really bad kid."

"What does it mean to be a good mom?" Jay asks Katherine.

"To spend time with your kids and understand them," she says.

Dr. Phil asks Erin for her reaction to Katherine's thoughts.

"When Katherine hit adolescence, things got more difficult. And I think I stepped back from the relationship because I didn't know how to deal with it," says Erin. "I think Jay really helped me focus on what's really important for Katherine."

Dr. Phil asks Martin, "What do you hear Katherine saying?"

"That she needs me to spend intimate time with her," he says.

"Do you know how to do that?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I'm learning how," Martin answers. "But it's been a struggle for me."

Jay reminds Erin and Martin that while they may think their relationship with Katherine has improved immensely, she still carries 13 years of resentment with her.