Angry Women, Scared Husbands: Charlie, Gary

Mad about Everything

"My wife, Charlie, has a serious anger problem," Gary says. "My wife will get upset, and she'll just charge at me, like she's just an animal out of control. I'll try to calm her down, I'll walk away, she'll start pushing me into the corners, yelling and screaming, shoving on me."

"When I'm mad, I see red. There is no talking or discussing anything," Charlie admits. "We have extreme fights. I've hit my husband. I've thrown things at my husband. I've pushed my husband."

"My wife has left welts on my back, bruises," Gary says.

"I do feel like I could get over-angry one day and maybe go too far," she says. "And no, I do not want to go to jail for killing a white man."

"On numerous occasions, my wife has just shoved me down, thrown things at me," Gary says.

"I've thrown ashtrays, candles, glasses, shoes, the remote control, phones," Charlie says.

[AD]"One time, we had gotten into an argument. I had gone out into our car. She started throwing things and busted the windshield," Gary says. "My wife even gets so upset that I've seen her run into another room and just beat her head against the wall, hit herself with her fist in the face, just out of control. I feel like at any minute, one thing I do could set her off."

"I really feel it boiling, from my feet all the way up to my head," Charlie says.

"Sometimes I wonder if we were fighting, and she had a knife, would she get mad and stab me with it?" Gary asks.

Charlie and Gary almost didn't make it to the show because they had a major blow-up at their hotel.

Get a glimpse of Charlie's anger. 
 

Gary struggles with his emotions after watching their argument on tape. "I just don't like seeing us unhappy," he tells Dr. Phil. "We're not supposed to be this way. We should just be celebrating life and love. We're going to be married for one year on the 20th of next month, and we shouldn't be fighting like this all the time."

Gary and Charlie wipe away their tears.

"Why do you think this is happening?" Dr. Phil asks Charlie.

"I haven't the slightest clue," she says. "Everything just pisses me off. I get upset, Dr. Phil." She says she gets upset at other people too, but Gary gets the brunt of her rage. She admits she can control her anger when she has to, like when she's at work.

"You think you could kill him sometime," Dr. Phil says.

"I just want to hurt him so bad sometimes, Dr. Phil," she admits. Charlie says she last hit her husband the day before.

"So, what is it about him that gets you so enraged?" he asks.

Gary answers, "Everything."

"You know, it's ignorance of stuff half the time," Charlie says. "I hate being asked a question that I feel he already knows. If I'm watching a TV show, and he asks me, ‘Is that Dr. Phil?' " I mean, you can't miss you! You're right there! You know?"

"But you understand, for a lot of people, that's just a way of engaging," Dr. Phil tells her. "When you fight about everything, when you're mad about everything, you're fighting about nothing, and you're mad about nothing."

"Half the time I get through being angry, I couldn't even tell you what I was angry about," she admits.

[AD]"Of course you can't! You can't tell me what you fought about last Thursday," Dr. Phil says.

Gary explains that the day before, Charlie got mad because the flash on their camera quit working. "And she just got angry, and if I try to say, ‘Baby, calm down. It's just a flash. You'll be OK,' that doesn't help. That makes her even madder at me, and it just grows and grows," he says.

"OK, I've been married for 34 years. Let me help you with one thing: You don't want to tell your wife to calm down," Dr. Phil jokes.

In a previous interview, Gary says, "My wife has told me numerous times that if we had a better sex life, there wouldn't be so much anger, but to me, it's like, well, if there wasn't so much anger, maybe there would be more of a sex life."

"We don't have sex very often," Charlie complains. "If you want to have sex, don't be married."

"I've tried to explain to my wife that I do love her, it's just the constant fighting has just driven me to not even have a sexual desire, period," Gary says.

Charlie tells Dr. Phil that she'd like more sex. "I love my husband. I'm attracted to my husband. I'm just angry as hell," she says with a laugh. "I haven't lost any other functions too much."

"Well, it's a little hard to get in the mood if you're scared," Dr. Phil says.

"It really is," Gary agrees. He says being told he's done something wrong every day makes him walk on eggshells.

In a previous interview, Gary explains, "Charlie gets angry over so many things. Everything has to be her way; from the TV, to the food, to the time that things get done. It has to be in her time frame, and if it's not the way she wants it, it's a problem. I'm not allowed to do the laundry in the house. I'm not allowed to pick what we watch on TV. If we were having sex, I'm not even allowed to be the one who initiates it.

[AD]"My wife thinks everything is my fault. I know that if I go and get something to eat, and bring it home, or do anything for her, and it's not exactly the way she wanted it, she's going to be angry," he says. "Apparently, I can't clean the house right. My wife will come in and see the one spot of cleaning that I didn't get. I can put something in the wrong place in the house, and it's a problem. I can't go shopping. I can't say anything. I don't feel like I can talk to my wife about anything. I do everything I can to try to be right and try to do what she wants, but I always just seem to fail, and it leads to arguments."

Dr. Phil let's Gary off the hook.

"You've got to understand, it's not you."

Dr. Phil tells Charlie that he thinks she needs a complete physical work-up by qualified doctors in various specialties. "I think there needs to be a real focus on looking at your hormonal balance, because you may be really out of balance," he says. He explains that there could be bio-chemical issues that need to be addressed. He offers her the opportunity to go to the PNP Center in Dallas for a complete evaluation.

[AD]He explains that Charlie should focus on getting healthy, including exercise, and offers a personal trainer to help. "I think it's important for you to have a return to health bio-chemically and in every possible way," he says. After that, they can sit down with a marriage counselor to resolve any marriage issues they may have. "I think you're going to see this get a whole lot better in a short amount of time," Dr. Phil tells them.