Are They Still Fighting? Luis and Julia

Are They Still Fighting? Luis and Julia
Dr. Phil asks the daughters of a cheating father to tell their dad how his infidelity has affected them.
Julia and Luis

On their first Dr. Phil appearance, Julia nominated her husband Luis the "Worst Spouse in America" because of his affairs, verbal abuse and hard partying ways. Dr. Phil sent each of them home with a copy of Relationship Rescue, which they promised to read. Julia says she read the book and found valuable lessons in it. However, she said it was too difficult to make any changes because Luis didn't read it.
 
Luis admits he had an affair just one week after appearing on Dr. Phil. He explains that he did it to get "peace and tranquility and get away from the nagging." Although Julia kicked him out of the house because of his infidelity, she soon took him back.
 
Luis thinks things are better now, while Julia thinks they've gone from bad to worse.
"What do you want from me?" Dr. Phil asks Julia. "I told you what I thought before. You apparently didn't like what I said and rejected it. You read Relationship Rescue but said it wasn't any good because Luis didn't read it. Maybe you didn't read it carefully because there are eight chapters before I even mention your relationship with your partner, because it has to start with you. This isn't about fixing your partner. It's about figuring out what you can do. Do you remember that philosophy in the book?"
 
"Yes, I do remember that," says Julia. "What makes it difficult is that here I am trying, but he still has the same behavior."
 
Dr. Phil interrupts Julia and again asks her what she wants from him. When Julia says she wants to go to counseling, Dr. Phil asks her why they haven't gone. Julia says that Luis refuses to go, while Luis claims that he objects to receiving counseling at church, which Julia suggested.
"It may seem fun to drink and chase girls," Dr. Phil tells Luis, "But there comes a point in the maturational curve where you have to learn to tell yourself no ... I want you and everyone to hear how your relationship has affected your daughters."
 
Dr. Phil then shows Luis footage of interviews with his two oldest daughters, Lucia and Lisette.
 
"The relationship my parents have would be my worst nightmare," says Lucia (seated right). "I would never, ever put my kids in that situation. The whole divorce idea sounds really good to me. I would never keep a person in my life who has committed adultery."
 
"I don't think I would ever be with a man that could do the things that I've seen my father do," says Lisette. "My dad gets away with a lot, especially with my mom. I wish she would just let him leave. If he really wants to be a part of this family and be with his children and wife, he needs to change a lot."
Dr. Phil asks Luis, "Are they wrong? They feel like you don't care about them."
 
"I love my daughters," insists Luis. "They're mixing up the love I have for them with the problems I'm having with their mother. I love them very much and they know that."
 
Dr. Phil asks Luis' daughters, "But you don't know that, do you? You don't know it has nothing to do with you."
 
"It's hard to tell that he or she loves us because they argue 24/7," says Lucia. "I get really tired because we've been dealing with it for three years. Every year it just gets worse. It doesn't get better."
 
Dr. Phil asks Julia if she hears what her daughter is saying. Julia responds, "Yes, that's one of the reasons I came to you, to get advice for Luis."
Dr. Phil asks Julia, "You're finding all of this advice for Luis but what about you? Are you interested in finding out why you continue to subject yourself to this and are focused on being right?"
 
Dr. Phil asks Julia and Luis to sit in front of their daughters. He then tells Lucia and Lisette, "I want you to look at your dad and tell him he is wrong. If he goes out and is with some other woman, that is not just a betrayal of your mother. It's a betrayal of your family. I want you to tell him how you feel about that."
 
Lucia begins to cry. "You're my father and I love you very much," she says. "But when you did that, it hurt me ... If you respect us and love us like you say you do, you wouldn't have been able to do that ... It didn't hurt you or affect you. What you can't seem to understand is that it affected all of us ... When I looked at you after you did that, I wasn't looking at the same person."

Dr. Phil asks Lucia, "So what do you want him to do?"
 
Lucia tells her father that he needs to change his behavior and begin spending more time with his family if he still wants to be a father and husband.
 
Luis acknowledges that he hears what his daughter Lucia is saying, begins to cry, and tells her, "I'm sorry."
 
"Do you get now how far-reaching your behavior is?" asks Dr. Phil.
 
"Yes," says Luis.
 
Lisette adds that she would like her father to stop drinking, smoking, and arguing with their mother. Although they don't believe it will work, Dr. Phil gets both daughters to agree to attend therapy with their parents if that is what they choose.