Can This Family Be Saved?

Onstage Showdown

Caysha joins her parents on Dr. Phil's stage. Dr. Phil turns to the teen. "Do you think your behavior is out of control and off the charts?" he asks.

"I don't think it's out of control. I know that I've made mistakes, and sometimes I say things I regret," she replies. "I speak my mind, and that's what they have a problem with. I don't get out of control physically unless they get out of control physically with me first."

 

"All morning you were disrespecting me in the hotel room: ‘Shut the * up, Bitch,'" Tricia chimes in.

"I didn't call you a bitch," Caysha says.

"Yeah, you did," Tricia says.

"I did not say that. Now you're exaggerating things."

 

Jeff speaks up. "This is what happens when I say, ‘You're not going to talk to your mom that way.' ‘Oh yeah? You can't tell me what to do, bitch. You're not my primary disciplinarian,'" he tells Dr. Phil, indicating his interaction with his stepdaughter. 

"But he gets in my face," Caysha says.

Jeff faces the teen. "When is it going to stop? When are we going to get on the same page?" he asks. "I love you. I want you to have structure and discipline in your life so that you can go on and have a functional life as an adult."

"I don't believe a word that he's saying," Caysha tells Dr. Phil. "He constantly is in my face. He can't talk to me civilly. He can't be a civilized person and just sit me down and talk to me. He's in my face yelling constantly. He aggravates me."

"Your stepfather and your mother have made some really bad decisions and some really bad behaviors. I've talked to them about that in a really straight-up way, and I'm going to continue to do so, but you need to also acknowledge that the behavior that you're doing " cussing at your mother, yelling, screaming at your father, or anybody else for that matter " is unbecoming to you as a young woman," Dr. Phil says. "You're better than that."

Dr. Phil asks Caysha to speculate about her future if she doesn't get her attitude under control. "It's all going to fall apart, and it's going to " I don't know " it's going to end in a bad way," she replies.

Dr. Phil delivers a grim prognosis. "You're going to be looking for a soft place to fall because this is too painful. So the first old boy with a pickup is going to come along and blow in your ear, and he's going to get you pregnant, and then you're going to wind up in a singlewide trailer in a park with no plumbing, and a kid strapped to each leg, trying to figure out how you can make ends meet. That's your future if you let this continue."

Bishop Jakes addresses Jeff and Tricia. "So much of this is dependent upon Caysha to make the proper move to change her life. I think right now, she's trying to change your lives, and that's too aggressive. I gave Caysha a list of things for her to work on that she has control over " like graduating, like cheerleading " things that should be on her mind. She's trying to fix your life, and trying to adjust Jeff, and trying to do things that are beyond her."

Bishop turns to Caysha. "If an angry, violent, abusive person says to you, ‘I love you,' and attacks you at the same time, then you begin to define love by fighting. So you won't be attracted to nice boys, because it's not normal," he says. He faces her parents. "She'll be attracted to anger, because she sees love and violence mixed together. What I want to do is reposition the family so that we can have a new normal that does not include B words, and F words, and C words and breaking glass to express points."

Dr. Phil says that Jeff faces an uphill battle with Caysha. "Stepparents cannot be the primary disciplinarians in a family situation. Stepparents cannot come in and be the backbone, be the driving force, be the one who puts the discipline on the table with the child because they reject that," he explains. "The later you come into the picture, the less chance it has of ever working."

 

He turns to Tricia. "This is your child. She is your responsibility," he says. "She is your child, and you have to step up and provide the structure, guidance and respectful directing that she needs. There is no other option. There is no room for drugs. There is no room for alcohol. There is no room for frustration. There is no room for yelling, and screaming, and cussing and fighting."

 

Dr. Phil offers to provide family and marital counseling for the couple. Caysha agrees to participate as well.