Meet the Family

"Our 14 year old daughter, Caysha, is out of control. She's physically and verbally abusive to both myself and my husband," says Tricia. "She had unprotected sex. She has gotten suspended for fighting at school."

"She thinks she can do anything she wants," adds Caysha's stepfather, Jeff. "I think Caysha is a spoiled brat."

The teen admits that she can be a handful. "I have skipped school a few times," says Caysha. But she blames her stepfather for the friction in their household. "Jeff is a control freak, and I completely hate him. The fights that Jeff and I get into are pretty extreme. Jeff will call the cops on me to discipline me, because that's the only control he feels that he has."

"I really feel threatened in my own house. I've got nowhere to go," Jeff says.

Caysha says she resents that her mother doesn't stick up for her. "When I cuss at Jeff, she'll tell me to shut the * up," says Caysha. "My mom and I argue 24/7. I describe my mom as a bitch, immature and stupid."

 

"She sees him as having a lot of power in the family, and she doesn't like that," Tricia explains. "I think I'm a good mom. I try to be, anyway."

Caysha says that Jeff can be verbally abusive. "He starts screaming at me, calling me an ugly, rat-faced bitch, told me to get the * out of his way and said that I look like my ugly * dad. I've never hated someone as much as I hate Jeff in my * life," she says.  "I would not like to be a part of my family at all right now, or ever."

When the videotape ends, Dr. Phil turns to Tricia. "Why is that hard for you to watch? You live it every day," he says.

"I'm just tired of it. I've had enough," she replies, voice breaking.

Bishop Jakes, who met previously with Caysha, explains his encounter to Dr. Phil. "She was not at all what I expected. She's very intelligent. She's very articulate. She seemed well-mannered," he reveals. "I think she's very, very wounded, very, very hurt and self-protective."

"You don't see her as unredeemable. You don't think she's, like, some evil, bad seed, Damien child?" Dr. Phil inquires.

"She's 14. Absolutely not," the pastor replies. "There's a lot of work to be done, a lot of correction that needs to be done, but I really don't think she's beyond redemption at 14."

"Do you think she's beyond redemption?" Dr. Phil asks Tricia.

"I have a really hard time thinking any other way," she replies.

Jeff says he's willing to work to heal his family. "I think we need someone to be accountable to. We need to form a plan and stick with it," he tells Dr. Phil. "We form these plans, and they just fall apart. That's the problem that Caysha and I have, is when I toe the line, and stand the ground and stick by the rules and boundaries we have in our household, she just doesn't like that, and she falls off the handle."

Dr. Phil takes issue with the way Jeff parents Caysha. "You're talking about this like Father Knows Best or something, wanting to adjust the values and get things in tune," he says. "Didn't I just see you [on videotape] attack her holding a camera?"

"No, what happened there was she was badmouthing the both of us ""

"We can play it back," Dr. Phil says.

"It was edited," Jeff says.

"There's no frame in which you can put that that it's OK," Dr. Phil says sternly. He turns to Tricia. "Why are you really, really here?"

"I want to really fix the problem," she replies.


Dr. Phil says that Caysha has made some harsh allegations against her mother. He consults his notes. "[Caysha] said, ‘I have a hard time with my mother. She has a past history of drug use. She's been on crystal meth, coke, marijuana and abused alcohol. She comes home smelling like vodka, although she says she doesn't, says she stopped years ago,'" he reads. "She says she has scratches all over her. You admit that you had drinks in August at her birthday party and don't remember what happened. You also say that you admit to pushing her around when you get drunk. True?"

"Yes," Tricia replies.

"That sounds to me, like, really out-of-control modeling. She's had 50 unexcused absences in class. Did you know that?" Dr. Phil asks.

"No."

Dr. Phil continues his indictment of Tricia. "You let boys spend the night at the house," he observes. "Three times a week, the boyfriend is at your house."

"It's not that I let him. He's not at my house; he's at my parents' house," she clarifies.

"Where are you?" Dr. Phil probes.

"I'm there."

"You're at your parent's house, with her " your daughter " and her boyfriend spends the night three times a week," Dr. Phil notes. "I don't want to get into where the hell his parents are, but he starts out on the couch, and he winds up in her bed."

 

Tricia nods.

 

"What do you say about that? What do you say about kicking, fighting, scratching, arguing, yelling, screaming, pulling hair, not monitoring school, letting her boyfriend sleep in her bed three nights a week? Where's the mother?" Dr. Phil asks.

Tricia dabs at her eyes, unable to speak.

"Let me tell you something, Dr. Phil. I go around and around with her every day about rules. It's not like I just accept that she's going to have her boyfriend spend the night. I'll fight with her constantly. She knows it's not acceptable. She knows that it's against our rules," Tricia explains.

"What does that mean: ‘It's against our rules'? There's no enforcement," Dr. Phil says.

"The only way that I can get [my daughter's boyfriend] out of the house is to physically remove him," Tricia begins.

"So be it," Bishop Jakes chimes in. 

"You call the cops. He doesn't have the right to be there. These are minor children," Dr. Phil says sternly. "You've got the tail wagging the dog here. The problem is that she is so outrageously difficult to manage that she's intimidated you."

Tricia nods.

"You just decided to just throw down, and she is whooping your ass!"

"Yep," Tricia says.

Dr. Phil doesn't let Jeff off the hook. "You've been to jail twice with felony assault charges, right?" he inquires.

"Yes," Jeff replies.

"Against whom?"

"It stemmed from defending myself against my wife." 

"You say that you wish [Caysha] would talk to the two of you with respect, but she says that you say to her, and I quote, ‘You little bitch. Get the * out of my way,'" Dr. Phil points out. 

"I may have said that," Jeff admits. "I think I have. I consciously don't talk to her that way."

"She says, and I quote, that you have said, ‘Yeah, you look just like your * ugly dad. You're an ugly, rat-faced little bitch,'" Dr. Phil notes.  

"I'm sure it could have happened."

"But y'all want her to speak to y'all with respect," Dr. Phil observes, incredulous.