Debate Dr. Phil

Debate Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil lets his viewers turn the tables and challenge his advice.
Stacia
Stacia, who weighs 250 pounds, says she disagrees with the advice that Dr. Phil gives to his overweight guests. She also disagrees with her doctor.

"I don't agree with my doctors telling me I need to lose weight. Being thin doesn't guarantee me a long life. I would rather die at 70 eating chocolate cake and having a steak than live until 80 eating carrot sticks and celery. I really feel like I'm a sexy, vibrant, incredible human being."
"My point is that I'm happy," says Stacia. "I felt some of your point was that you have a reaction when you see an overweight person."

"I do have a reaction when I see an overweight person," says Dr. Phil. "I see danger, not unhappiness ... You say you'd rather eat what you want and live until 70 instead of eating what you should and live until 80. You say there's nothing wrong with you and that if you knew being overweight was having a negative effect on your health, you would change?"

"I do not have any health issues," insists Stacia.
"If you have a family member that is making really poor decisions financially, and you feel you have some moral imperative to help them by sliding a bunch of cash over to them, are you helping them or enabling them?"

"That is a copout," says Lisa.

"That is not a copout," says Dr. Phil. "Did you listen further enough into the story to hear that [Sheryll] worked things out with her landlord and she's still in her house and doing just fine?" asks Dr. Phil.

"But she doesn't have a relationship with her sister!" says Lisa.

"That's her choice to be offended that her sister didn't meet her demand and fork over some money," says Dr. Phil. "And she has the dignity and self-respect of being able to say, 'I worked out my own problem.'"
"Yes you do," says Dr. Phil. "I did some simple math using your height, weight and age with the help of my medical consultants. Because of your weight, your heart is having to pump your blood an extra 750 miles per week in order to service your body. That's 39 thousand miles year. Over 25 years, your heart will have to pump your blood an extra million miles. Doesn't logic tell you that should be considered? You have children. Shouldn't you take better care of their mom?"

"I'm well aware of the dangers of being overweight," says Stacia. "But the sacrifices I would have to make to be at the ideal weight would require me to do a lot of things that I'm not willing to do right now."

"You are at a higher risk and I just want you to take care of yourself from a medical standpoint," says Dr. Phil.
Mimi and Bob
Dr. Phil believes that spanking is not OK and that it should only be used to protect a child from immediate danger. Bob and Mimi say they completely disagree.

"I think spanking brings about immediate results," says Bob. "My wife and I think spanking is a useful tool if it's used in the correct way. All it has to be is a couple of small whacks to the buttocks ... There are a lot of messed up people and I think if some of [them] had been spanked, they would not be as bad as they are today."

"One of my concerns is that [spanking] can get out of hand and turn into an abusive situation," explains Dr. Phil. "So I want to make clear that there is not even a hint of that situation in this family. You have done it judiciously and sparingly. Having said that, I totally disagree with you on spanking."

"And we totally disagree with you," says Mimi.
"So what do you think spanking adds?" asks Dr. Phil.

"It gives them a clear and concise punishment," says Bob. "It doesn't always have to be used. But they know if they don't change their behavior, it could become part of the consequence."

"It isn't about spanking," says Mimi. "It's about being a parent. Children are a gift. And it's your responsibility as a parent to make sure your children are respectful of themselves and others ... I'm a schoolteacher. I see abused kids all the time. But I also see kids who are not disciplined, and that is also a form of abuse."

"I agree that children need boundaries, discipline and control. I just don't think you need to hit them to do that ... There are two risks involved with spanking that I don't think it's prudent to take. Number one, the risk of parents going too far and becoming abusive. Number two, there are risks of side effects. You cannot ignore the psychosocial research and data on that."
"I don't think someone in your position should say it's wrong," says Mimi. "Because you have such an influence on so many people."

"Do y'all have sound on your television?" asks Dr. Phil. "Because I said on the show that this was my opinion. I even presented the pros and cons. I never ask anyone to substitute my judgement for their own, but when I get through talking, you're not going to have to guess where I stand."
Kellie
Kellie, who is single, says that Dr. Phil's "Project Single Girls" was way off the mark and put all the blame in the wrong place. "Dr. Phil, you really let me down with that 'Project Single Girls' nonsense," says Kellie. "You just used it as an opportunity to make us single girls feel worse about ourselves ... If you're really wondering why there are so many single women in their 30s, why don't you talk to the men? You have to ask them why they're intimidated by an intelligent, opinionated, educated and accomplished woman."

"You don't scare me ... much," laughs Dr. Phil. "I find it astounding that any woman on planet Earth would say I'm too easy on men. I've said forever that men don't get it when it comes to relationships."

"You introduced this idea that you felt was important enough to make a project, not just an episode," explains Kellie. "Then you focused on what the women were doing wrong. You didn't allow any opportunity to look at what the men are doing wrong."
"Whenever I'm dealing with an issue, I'm dealing with the people who are here," explains Dr. Phil. "Because the only person you control is you. On the show, I had four women who said, 'We want help. We want a lasting relationship and we want to know what we can do.' The men weren't here saying, 'I want help.' What do you disagree with? The first thing I said [to the women] was to do a relationship autopsy ... "

Mimi interrupts Dr. Phil and dismisses the idea of doing a relationship autopsy, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on! I know myself so well, I'm sick of myself!"

"Look, you can either be right, or you can do what works," says Dr. Phil. "If you want a man in your life, and you ain't got one, then what is it you're defending?"

Kellie says she is confused and asks Dr. Phil to repeat the question. After going back and forth, she asks Dr. Phil why men are intimidated by women because she feels it's an issue.
"It is absolutely an issue," says Dr. Phil. "But it has nothing to do with what we're talking about in 'Project Single Girls.' In 'Project Single Girls,' we're talking about what you're doing to sabotage your relationships. My second point was, look at what your ownership is. Look at what's not working."

"So you're telling me I need to change who I am so I can attract men?" asks Kellie.

"Interestingly enough, that was point number three," says Dr. Phil. "Be who you are. There is somebody out there who will take the time to know you and appreciate your uniqueness and embrace you for the rest of your life. I said those exact words during the show. Did you go to the bathroom or something during the show?"

"I don't know. Maybe I was spanked as a child!" laughs Kellie, joking about the previous guests.
Lisa
Lisa disagrees with the advice Dr. Phil gave on the episode, "Suddenly Rich." In it, Sheryll, a woman going through a bankruptcy, asked her sister Marlene (who had just inherited $250,000), to help her out by purchasing her house. Marlene decided that it was too great of a financial responsibility and backed out of the deal. Sheryll became hurt and said it ruined the friendship she had with her sister.

Lisa took offense to the fact that on the show, Dr. Phil told the sisters that the person with the money has the right to make the choice [to give money], and that you dont solve money problems with money.

"You believe there is a moral imperative to give your money to your family?" asks Dr. Phil.

"Yes," answers Lisa. "I think our whole country is based on that ... We all learn in kindergarten to share. Moral law [from the Bible] says when we come into money and there is a need, we should meet that need."