Double Trouble

Double Trouble
Slideshow: These feuding twins can't live with or without each other.
Vielka and Shakira
Vielka and Shaira, 24, describe their relationship as "complex" because they are each other's best friends and worst enemies.


"We fight about four or five times a week," says Shakira, "about pettythings, childish things, like if I don't help her with her hair or if I don't drop everything and help her. It gets to slamming doors and yelling at each other ... We get physical. I have scratches, and she has scratches."


In addition to fighting over clothing, sharing a car is a constant source of friction for them. If they can agree on who gets to use the car or who should drive when they're together, it still poses a problem because they'll fight while they're driving! They've been in a total of eight accidents.


They also had a big falling out when Shakira made the cut to be a dancer for the Miami Heat, and Vielka didn't.

Shakira, left, describes herself as "the good twin," and Vielka, right, says she's "the bad twin."


After watching a tape of the two fighting, Dr. Phil says, "May I say I am just glad I'm not married to either one of you!"


He asks them: "Why is it that you've lowered the bar, just because she's a twin sister, and said 'I don't have to hold myself to a standard of treating this person with dignity and respect the same way I would a total stranger?'" asks Dr. Phil. "You treat your sister worse than you do strangers."


Dr. Phil points out that they need not count on the other to change in order for the dynamic between them to improve. "You can change your relationship dramatically without your partner even helping," he says.


Looking at their motivation behind fighting so much, Dr. Phil asks: "Is it possible that you guys do this because you know you can? Because don't you say that when you do this, you know that a couple hours later it will be OK, that you'll be there for each other?"

"You've inherited a role here," Dr. Phil tells them. "You were born into a situation when you were never alone. There was never a time when it was just you ... You've had to share everything. There's a familiarity there, and as the old saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt."


"I don't want to argue ... She's my best friend," says Shakira.


"It's disgusting to me to see how horrible we treat each other," agrees Vielka.


"You don't spend as much time telling each other how you value each other as you do telling each other how much you hate each other, how much you resent each other, how much you're angry with each other. Why is that?" asks Dr. Phil.


"Like you said, I know that she's going to be there, so I'll just take it out on her. I'll just scream at her, because I know tomorrow we'll talk. It makes sense," says Shakira.

Dr. Phil says all they need to do is to make a life decision to stop being mean and disrespectful to the person they love most.


He helps them start putting an end to their behavior by having them look each other in the eyes and talk to one another.


"I want us to be old little ladies holding hands together ... and just being my best friend forever," Shakira tells her sister. "I look up to your strong attitude because you get things done."


Vielka responds: "You mean the world to me, and I don't ever want our relationship to be the way it was. I want it to get better. Like you said, I want us to grow old together and be each other's best friends ... You're so intelligent and smart, and you get things done in your way. You're nice and mellow and people understand you and love you because of that."


They each say "I love you" and hug tightly.

Lance and Aaron
These 11-year-olds are constantly at each other's throats, even saying they want to kill one another.


"So tell me why you think you guys fight all the time?" asks Dr. Phil.


"Sometimes I don't mean what I say," says Aaron, right. "Why did I say this? It's not me ... He has separate friends. I have separate friends. We don't even talk a lot of the time."


Dr. Phil asks Lance, who's crying: "Do you know that your brother cares about you?" Unable to speak through his tears, Lance nods. "Would it help you if your brother did talk to you some? Tell me what it would be like to be able to play with your brother and you guys be a team and be friends."


Lance answers: "It'd be a lot better because no one ever plays with me. If I ask him, he says no."


"What could you do to help your brother feel better?" Dr. Phil asks Aaron.


"Stop arguing, and fighting and yelling at him," Aaron says.

 

"Do you want to be his friend?" Dr. Phil asks Aaron. "Tell him why."


"I want to be your friend because I love you and you love me and I know that and I want you to be there for me," Aaron tells his twin.


Asked what he wants to change in his relationshp with his brother, Lance says, "I want him to talk to me more and play with me so I don't get lonely."


Dr. Phil offers advice: "I wonder what would happen if you decided to go home and say, 'I'm old enough now that I need to be bigger about this, and I need to tell myself to shut up sometimes. And I need to ask myself if I'm beng a good brother or I'm being a bad brother. Do you think you're old enough to think about that at this point?"


Dr. Phil adds, "If you want a good brother, then be a good brother."

LeeAnn and DeeAnn
"
My sister is so beautiful that it's so hard to constantly be compared to her because I know what people are thinking," says LeAnn, right, who weighs 100 pounds more than her identical twin. "I hate meeting new people and being introduced as her twin because I feel like people are looking at me in disgust and judging me about my weight."


Though she loves her sister and says they are best friends, LeeAnn says she's noticed herself pulling away and isolating herself. "I'm afraid that this constant comparison as twins will come between us," she tells Dr. Phil.

"She won't do anything with me anymore," says DeeAnn. "It hurts ... I miss her."

 

"This is your twin sister. You need to be honest with her," Dr. Phil says, telling DeeAnn to stop tip-toeing around her sister by not addressing her weight issues.


"Do you care what she weighs in terms of her quality as a human being?" Dr. Phil asks.


"Absolutely not," DeeAnn answers.

"You guys need to be honest about this and talk about this because what you have to share as sisters, as identical twin sisters, is worth more than anything you could possibly deal with as far as other people looking at you ... And who gives a damn what they think about you anyway?" Dr. Phil says.


He tells LeeAnn: "If you want to lose weight, lose weight. If you don't, don't, but don't cut your sister out of your life because or the judgments you think other people may have."

Beverly and Rachelle
Rachelle, right, wants her twin sister, Beverly, to back off. "I love my twin sister very much, but she can drive me crazy," says Rachelle, a 26-year-old law student. "She can call excessively — up to 14 times a day. It's almost like having a stalker."


"I'm not a stalker. I just want to clarify that," says Beverly, who's married with three children. She acknowledges that she and her sister are at very different stages in their lives.


Beverly says, "I want to be there for her. I love her and I love her kids, but it's too much for me sometimes."


Rachelle says her sister was never clear with her that she felt that way.


"Maybe I make it a joke, but I have told her that I don't want to go to anymore Tupperware parties," says Rachelle, pointing out that she doesn't even have a kitchen! "I don't think she wants to hear it."

"I think there's a phenomenon among brothers and sisters in general, and twins in particular, that because they are so close and have shared so much, they don't have clear boundaries. And so I think sometimes we need to set up clear boundaries," says Dr. Phil.


"Respect each other's individuality. You're both very successful in your own rights," Dr. Phil adds. "And you need to respect that in each other but have some boundaries there where the individuality can take place."