DP Family Returns: DP Scolds Family: Beginnings(2)

"She Continues to Blame Me for All of Her Problems"

Dr. Phil plays a video from six years ago, when Katherine, then 12, tells her sister that she's disappointed and embarrassed by her behavior. When the tape ends, he asks Alex, "What do you think about that as you watch it today?"


"I was 16. I'm sure that I disappointed her as the big sister," Alex says. "But, I'm Alex. I have to deal with that ridicule head on. So, if I can deal with it, and I can manage it " I'm so sorry that that's been put on her to be my sister, to have that burden. But, at some point, she has to say, 'You know what? I'm not like my sister.'" 


"Do you recognize that the choices you've made have impacted a lot of other people?" Dr. Phil asks Alex.


"Yes. I know they have," she replies. 


"Do you ever wonder if you had made different choices, where they would be?" Dr. Phil asks. 


[AD]"My mom, yeah, but my sister, just because she still has a chance to go and do whatever she wants to do. She can go to Harvard, be a lawyer. Be my guest," Alex says. "Yes, I'm sure that I've caused a bunch of her problems. Being my sister was hard for her, but, at some point, she's got to grow up and get past that."


"Do you have any insight, or understanding or compassion for the fact that at 12 years of age, it became all about Alexandra?" Dr. Phil asks.


"But when Katherine was riding her horses, I wasn't doing anything. We all focused on Katherine and her riding her horses. I believe at different times in a family, the family has to focus on that crisis," Alex says.

"Do you use this as an excuse?" Dr. Phil asks Katherine.


"I feel really hurt, because, she was supposed to be a senior in high school, and I was supposed to be a freshman. She was supposed to be a senior in college, and I was supposed to be a freshman in college," Katherine says. With tears welled in her eyes, she continues, "As a freshman in college now, she's not there. She doesn't have that experience to share with me. It really does hurt me, because I really wish that Nathan and Leilah would have come later on."


[AD]"You have to make a decision about who you are and who you become," Dr. Phil tells Katherine. "You've got to make the best of that and make choices that are reasonable for you."


"Yes," Katherine says. "I have blamed a lot of my bad choices on her, which is horribly wrong, and I feel really bad about that."