DP Family: Tought Choices: Living Situation

"I Want to Be the Mommy"

Dr. Phil asks Alex how her current living situation is working out. When he mentions the possibility of her moving home, Alex rolls her eyes.

"On the way home from the last show, she chased Tony and I around the airport baggage claim asking Tony if he liked molesting little children and asking me if I was a porn star, because my girlfriend and I have the same color hair," Alex shares. "I love you, Mom, and I know we're trying to work on our relationship but moving home is not an option."

Dr. Phil asks Erin to describe the incident at the airport.

"I didn't chase her. I just walked up to Tony and I asked him if he could read his T-shirt, because he is illiterate," Erin says. "I don't mean that funny. He can't read."

"He can read," Alex retorts. "My mom expects me to tell her things and be open with our counselor, but then she goes and uses the personal things that I say to her as weapons, to try to make everybody else look terrible, so she looks better."

Erin and Alex disagree about Dr. Phil's previous statements about Tony, and Dr. Phil clarifies his position. "I said I don't think Tony is necessarily a bad guy. I don't think he's the problem here, and I think when you go to prison, and you pay your dues, you need to be given a second chance to define who you are in a different way," he explains. "There are some things that I expect Tony, anyone in that situation to do. I believe, Alexandra, that he should be taking you out of that pressure cooker right now, by solving this problem for you. I think what he should be doing is saying, ‘You know what, Alexandra? It's clear to me that you are in a real, real pickle, and I am going to continue to support you in every way that I can financially, just like we are doing now in sharing things, but if I need to go sleep on my parents' couch, or I need to go do something else that simplifies your situation and helps you in any way, then that's what I will do. I will continue to be in your life every day.'" He adds that he believes Tony will take those steps. "I don't think you would be disappointed if he did that, would you?" he asks Alex.

[AD]"I think it would hurt a lot," Alex says.

Dr. Phil emphasizes that she shouldn't take it personally if Tony decides to take that action.

Erin says that she wants Alex to move closer to her, so her daughter would have the support of her family nearby.

 

Dr. Phil plays a video of Erin showing the house she wants Alex to rent. 

 

When the tape ends, Dr. Phil says to Alexandra, "That's exactly what you don't want to do. Is that correct?"

"Absolutely," she replies. "I have a very nice, crown molding, three-bedroom house. It might not be close to my mother, but I'm 22 years old. You can't expect me to live right down the road."

[AD]"But this is the mom who takes care of your daughter," Dr. Phil points out. "So you would be just a half mile from her, which would be a plus, right?"

 

"I'm sure," Alex says. "But she's a grandma. If and when I get my kids back, I want it to be the typical grandma role, weekends, special events. I want to be the mommy. I want to do it. I want to do it the right way." She addresses her mother. "I feel like by doing that, you have your interest in mind, so you can make sure that I'm doing everything that you want and not giving me the opportunity to be the parent that I want to be and give my kids the chance that I want to give them," she says.

Dr. Phil asks Erin, "Why do you want her to make this move and live closer?"

"Because then she can see her daughter at will. Her daughter can see her. Hopefully, they'd all be in that house together, and when she needs child care, it's not going to be a big deal," she says. "Do I want to micromanage her life? Have I been guilty of that? Completely. Now, I'm getting on with my life, and I really would like to do that and not have to worry about the safety of my grandchildren."

[AD]Alex shakes her head. "I see my daughter every day," she says. "I'm managing that part."

Erin says that Alex often makes excuses for not visiting or leaving early. "She doesn't always come on Fridays, because there's something mysterious that she and Tony have to do together," she says.

Alex rolls her eyes and shakes her head.