"A lot has happened since you guys saw me last. Nathan's father wants to have custody, and the crappy part is that my mom completely backs them up," Alexandra says in a video diary. "To have a mother who doesn't even want to be on her daughter's side when she needs her the most, it's really crappy."
Alexandra shares that her relationship with her mother is deteriorating. "She wants me to be something I'm not. I'm not her. She constantly has something negative to say. I wish I could do better. I'm trying very hard, but it's not good enough," she says. "My mother is a cold-hearted snake. I'm sorry. I try so hard to win her affection and approval, and it's not good enough. It's never good enough. I'm not good enough, because I'm not living up to her expectations."
[AD]The 21-year-old expresses her frustrations with the judgments people place on her. "I want people to get off my back about being a cheater, because I'm not with my husband and I'm seeing someone else, but, I mean, anybody who has anything to say about it can kiss my butt, especially my mom," she says. "I decided that I don't need her. If she's going to be someone to just stand in my way and put me down, then I don't need it. I need somebody. I need people in my life who are going to bring me up, support me, and love me, and be there for me, and not judge me and judge my lifestyle and judge the people who love me. So, Mom, sorry, but you can't call yourself a mother and treat somebody the way you do. Talking about me with your sisters behind my back, saying that I'm nothing, calling me fake. You're the one who's fake. Not me."
Erin responds to her daughter's accusations. "I am really, really worried about Alexandra," she says. "What Alexandra has said here is mild compared to some of the things that she's actually said to my face. One minute she's really nice to me, the next minute she's chewing my hiney off.
"I think Alexandra calls me a cold-hearted snake because I don't approve of her lifestyle. She's very angry with me about that. I don't approve how she's caring for her children, and I've let her know that," Erin continues. "It's easier for Alexandra to be angry with me than it is for Alexandra to be frustrated with Alexandra. I get that, it is OK, she can sit there and say that all day long. I am totally fine with that."
[AD]Erin admits that some of her daughter's comments hurt her, but her main concern is for Alexandra and her grandchildren's well-being. "Every time I ask what's going on with Leilah, Alexandra says to me, 'Mom, do you think for one minute you could pretend to give a [expletive] about me, your daughter?' Alexandra is a 21-year-old woman. She may be disillusioned and all this messed-up crap, but Leilah is 20 months old. Nobody is talking for her," she says. "Alexandra has to stop doing drugs, and we have a problem because she doesn't think she has a problem. The hardest thing for me right now is Alexandra. That is my biggest concern. I would not be shocked if I got a call saying something happened to Alexandra, and I never thought that before. There's something that happened to her mind. She's just not the same girl that she was, at all."
Another point of contention for Alexandra is the custody situation with Nathan's father.
"Nathan's father has, I guess, served me with papers and said that he wants to have full custody of our son. I accept the fact that he wants him to live with my parents. The crappy part is my mom completely backs them up, and she's already said she will fight with them in court," Alexandra says.
Erin responds. "Her father and I both support Nathan's father in getting custody of Nathan. Alexandra has not been there for Nathan most of his life, and we're not going to have him dragged from one place to another place," she says. "That child deserves a healthy and happy family, and he has always lived with us, except for a few months when he was not there, and it was very traumatic for Nathan."
[AD]"To have a mother who doesn't want to be on her daughter's side," Alexandra says, "it's really crappy."
"I love Alexandra, but I am not going to sacrifice Nathan's future, because she has an issue and wants to get Nathan," Erin says. "You have no idea how many times her dad and I have made everything possible for her to come to the house, forget about the boyfriend and be with her children. She continues to choose the boyfriend, Tony, over her son, over Leilah." She adds that Alex doesn't participate in Nathan's activities either.
Alexandra was in a car accident and went to a pain clinic because she was having pain in her back. She was prescribed medicine to ease the pain. "I was taking prescriptions, and everybody thought that I was some sort of drug addict because I sought help for my back, but I'm not," she says with a laugh. "If you guys want to talk about prescriptions, go in my mom's medicine cabinet. Half of those aren't hers."
[AD]"I am very frightened for Alexandra. The prescriptions that she's talking about is hydrocodone," Erin says, adding that Alex travels far to get the medicine. "We also had a conversation where she said she was snorting hydrocodone. She said to me, 'The bottle doesn't say how to take it, Mom.'"
Erin says that Alexandra's behavior is out of the ordinary as well. "Her emotions all over the place. I see her stumbling, slurring her words. I have talked to her when she's been incoherent, and the children are in her care. She's had a dramatic weight loss, and her skin tone isn't healthy," she explains. "I need for her to stop doing prescription drugs and using that as her cover. My goal is to get Alexandra into rehab."