Dr. Phil Family Returns: Alex Excuses: Men

"I Say Things about You that I Wish You Said to Yourself"

Dr. Phil tells Alexandra his goals for her. "I want you safe, I want you healthy, and I want you moving toward whatever you decide is important in your life," he says.


Since Alexandra returned home, she has been living in a motel room, and sometimes, her fiancé, Tony, stays with her. She gives the Dr. Phil camera a tour of her living quarters and says, "It's better than nothing."


Dr. Phil reminds Alexandra that during their previous conversation, she told him she doesn't want a relationship with a man right now, and he asks her how Tony is worming his way back into her life.


"I'm still working toward my goals. I don't let him stop me in any way," she assures Dr. Phil. She adds that she wants to find a place to live and get her life on track, and if Tony wants to be a part of her life, he must show her, but if he's not ready, she won't chase him.


[AD]Alex recently went to the emergency room twice, and she asked Tony to pick her up, but he wouldn't. Her ex-husband, Chris, took her home, even though he lives an hour-and-a-half away. "Chris was the last person I wanted to ask for help, because I don't want a relationship with him, and he always wants more," she says. She adds that it hurt her feelings that Tony wasn't there for her, and says, "Calling Chris was kind of like, ‘Ha, ha. Screw you. If you won't come get me, there's somebody else who will.'"

Dr. Phil points out the commonalities among some of the men Alexandra chooses to date. Chris and Tony have both been to jail, have a suspicious history with drug and alcohol abuse and seem to lack traction in life.


Alex says through all the bad, Tony is a good person, although, she does admit that she's told him to get a job if he wants to make things work between them.


"Most people have a good side, but if it comes with a big helping of bad side, then that can bite you," Dr. Phil tells her. "Why do you think you date at the end of the continuum, where people seem to be in pretty frequent conflict with authorities and seem to not be getting traction in life, in terms of pulling their own weight?"


"I guess, growing up, that was just the social group I hung out with," Alexandra replies, adding that if she broke up with Tony for good, she would consider dating a guy more on the straight and narrow.


"Tony is a compromised player," Dr. Phil says, noting that the young man has only seen his son two or three times in six months.


[AD]On video, Alexandra shares that Tony doesn't see their son because he doesn't get along with her mother, Erin. "My mom doesn't like anybody. She doesn't even like me," she says. "I do want to get back together with Tony. I'd love to. I want to raise our family together, but I want more than just plain, ordinary, just to get by."  


Erin and Alexandra discuss the whereabouts of Tony. Alex says that she left him because they got into a fight. She says she doesn't know where he is, but she's called the jails to make sure he's not locked up.

Sitting with Dr. Phil, Alexandra breaks down as she reveals a surprising truth.