Dr. Phil's Road Show, Part 2: Barry and Katie

Dr. Phil's Road Show, Part 2: Barry and Katie

 

Barry and Katie win the tire challenge! They receive a $1,000 shopping spree at Sears, but the catch is they have to spend that money in 10 minutes. They run around the store and settle on a $400 camcorder and a $600 vacuum. The runners up also receive a $250 gift card to Sears.

 

Although Barry and Katie have swept the entire Road Show so far, Katie tells Dr. Phil that if a challenge involved Barry having to be faithful, they would fail. "He just cheats," she says.

"Are you trustworthy?" Dr. Phil asks him.

"I believe I am. But I mean with our history, you know, neither one of us feel that."

"When did we flip the switch and become trustworthy?" Dr. Phil asks. "You're still talking to girls online now."

"That's a big issue," says Katie. "I mean, just a week-and-a-half or two weeks ago, he was online, chatting with girls. He went to a concert in Chicago one night, supposedly to take pictures of the band that was playing, and he met up with some girl there. And that was only a month ago."

 

Dr. Phil asks Barry, "How do you define flirting or inappropriateness, or affair, or whatever you want to call it? How do you determine whether something is within the scope of OK, or not within the scope of OK?"

"If I'm not having a sexual relationship with somebody, then I don't consider it cheating. I'm not having sex with this person. To her, if I'm conversing with a female, that's cheating. But she can hug male friends that she can talk to."

"Using your definition, as far as your marriage is concerned, how is that working for you?" Dr. Phil asks.

"It's not working well," says Barry.

Dr. Phil points out that Barry and Katie have such explosive fights that neighbors call the police on them.

"Yeah, it gets pretty crazy," says Katie.

"The reason he thinks this works, is because some of the times it does," Dr. Phil tells Katie. "For every rat you see, there's 50 you don't."

 

"Here's the deal. You've got children. Are they worth a shot?" Dr. Phil asks them. "Are they worth an effort on y'all's part? Because, sometimes you make the right decision, and sometimes you have to make the decision right. Was it the right decision for y'all to get married? Given your history, given your background, given your interaction style? I would say, no, no, no, no. That probably was not the best decision you could make. But can you make it right now? Yes. But what that requires is you have to have emotional integrity. The only thing worse than being in a bad relationship for two years, is being in a bad relationship for two years and one day. If you don't want to do this, then the sooner you admit that, the better off you are."

Barry and Katie both admit if they knew back then what they know now, they would not have gotten married.

"So, you're either going to quit, or you're going to do the changes necessary for any person to live with." He asks Barry, "Do you think any woman, with self-esteem and dignity would put up with your behavior?"

"No. I don't think they would," says Barry.

"So, you've either got to be willing to acknowledge that and change it, or be honest about the fact that, you know, 'I'm just not grown up yet, and I'm not ready to have emotional integrity,'" says Dr. Phil.