Family First: After the Show

DrPhil.com Exclusive
Dr. Phil gives his audience a chance to ask some questions.
After the show, Dr. Phil returns to the stage to offer the audience a chance to ask questions.

After hearing Dr. Phil's family history in the beginning of the show, one audience member wants to know, "How come you didn't repeat your chaotic history?"

"That's a fair question," says Dr. Phil. "You have a choice that you have to make, you really do. You don't have to repeat that. My dad was an alcoholic. And we didn't get along well at all when he was drinking, and as a result, I'm 53 now, and I probably haven't had a drink in 30 years. I've just gone in the opposite direction of that; I made the choice. And like I said, we were really poor, and I didn't like that either, and so I've had a really good work ethic all my life. I've just made some choices. And as for my family, (pointing to Robin) she just won't have it any other way, I mean, we're going to be happy. We put it on project status. I just rejected all of that and I kept all of the good things. There were a lot of good things about my father, and I've really tried to embrace those things and emulate those good things about him. And my mother is one of the kindest souls. I'm 53 and she's never raised her voice to me in her entire life."
Another woman stands up: "You've got two couples here who are both willing to do this. What do people do at home who want to fix their families, but there's just one person in the middle of the family trying to do it? Maybe the wife's not on board, maybe the husband's not on board, maybe the kids aren't on board. I think that applies to a lot of people out there."

"You're running the family," says Dr. Phil. "And there's a whole section in my book about how to change behavior. You can change children's behavior. If your spouse is not on board, the only person you can control is you, and you have to do everything you can around them. When we first got married I was a real workaholic, and I struggle with that now, but Robin never bitched about it, nagged, threw fits, or got upset about it. She just made the home environment so inviting, that you just got suckered in. You can create the environment, you can create the experience, but it's got to be on project status."
A man has a comment about guests John and Devon: "The one woman mentioned that intimacy was just another chore to her. And that would really hurt me. And hearing that would just knock me off my chair. But his facial expression didn't even change."

"I think there's just been a lot of tension here, and I think both of them are just standing back right now," says Dr. Phil.

"I can answer his question," says John, standing up. "When your children mean more to you than life itself, that shouldn't even bother you. But, deep down, that hurt. But I know somewhere down the line, that won't happen anymore."

"Well, more power to you. I'll be praying for you," says the audience member.