Faultfinders and Flakes: Cat and Daniel

Faultfinders and Flakes: Cat and Daniel
Dr. Phil talks with faultfinder Dwayne and offers advice for changing his personality.
"I'm a giant whiner," says Cat. "I constantly whine and complain about the smallest things." She will whine when it's "too hot," "too cold," "too sunny," or "the walk is too long." She has tried to stop whining by humming when she wants to whine, but that annoys her boyfriend, Daniel, even more.


"Cat has got to be one of the biggest whiners I have ever met," says Daniel. He has a new line he uses with her every day: "Would you like some cheese with that 'whine?'" He is getting annoyed with Cat and cannot take much more of her complaining. "She needs to change. She's driving me insane."
They turn to Dr. Phil for help.

Although Cat said that she only realized she was a whiner in this relationship, Dr. Phil reminds her that when she described her

childhood she said that she always got what she wanted. Her mother and brother also confirmed that she whined until she got her way.

 

"And you said, 'I love ticking [Daniel] off, and whining does it every time," Dr. Phil says. "You're going to be a lonely woman if you keep this up," Dr. Phil tells her. Men will become so annoyed with the whining that when they meet another girl who doesn't whine, they will choose her.

After Daniel tells Dr. Phil that he wants Cat to quit her whining, Dr. Phil says, "Well then you need to teach her how to treat you. You need to not let her get away with that."


Daniel says he's been trying to do that.


"Well, you need to stop trying and start doing, and when she starts whining, you need to start walking," Dr. Phil tells him. "You're paying her off by giving in. She'll whine until you eventually give in, doesn't

she?"

 

"A lot of the time, but I've started to not give in for that reason," Daniel replies.


Dr. Phil explains the reality of the situation to Cat. "He'll start not giving in. Then he'll start not giving period, and then he'll start not being there, and then you've got a serious problem," he tells her. "You're getting a payoff for this in that it works. You've got to be willing to take it to the next mature level of saying what you think and feel without whining."