"When Dr. Phil said to me if it was possible that I might be seeing things through a bit of an angry filter, I realized I was angry, and I wanted to know where that was coming from," Fentisha says.
Now that Fentisha has stopped being so critical of others, she's faced with another dilemma. "I'm no longer as blunt as I used to be, but I'm still having judgmental thoughts. Can you help me with this?" she asks Dr. Phil.
"I really get it now," she replies. "In brutal honesty, it is self-absorption. It has nothing to do with your genuine intent to someone else. It was easy for me to be so rude and brutal about it."
"Yeah, and how to show people that I am thinking about them, and just expressing nicer sides of myself," she says.
Dr. Phil asks Fentisha to role-play with him. He tells her to assume that her dog was just killed, and his role is to only reflect content back to her. They begin a role-play.
"I'm sorry I'm late for work today," Fentisha says. "My dog was run over and I had to take care of things."
"Really? Did just the front wheels get him or the back wheels?"
"Well, I wasn't paying that close attention."
"So what'd you pay for him when you bought him?"
"Five hundred dollars."
"Well, there's $500 shot," Dr. Phil jokes as the audience laughs.
Dr. Phil points out to Fentisha the inappropriateness of his comments during their role-playing. He asks her to role-play again, and this time he reflects feelings instead of content.
As they act, Dr. Phil shows more compassion to Fentisha than he did in his earlier comments. When he asks her which behavior is more appropriate, she remarks that showing compassion is, but that it seems odd to her.
Dr. Phil turns around in amazement as the audience laughs. He gets up and mock shakes Fentisha.
"The fact that that seems so strange to you is why I want you to practice that. It's going to be very awkward," Dr. Phil explains. "If it feels really odd to show compassion, then you need to practice it a lot."