"Once the show aired, it was like my secret was out," says Jackie, who appeared on the show because she couldn't stop criticizing her 15-year-old daughter, Kelly, for being overweight. "People gave me the worst looks of hatred and disgust, like I had just murdered somebody. I watched the show the day that it aired. I cannot look at it again. I just can't face the kind of person that I was. I am trying so hard to not be that person anymore."
"All the advice Dr. Phil gave my mom has really changed my life," says Kelly. "Before the show, I felt very self-conscious about myself. Now, I walk around school with my head held high. Just knowing Dr. Phil was there for me makes me feels good. The audience was very supportive. I walked out on stage during the commercial break and they were like, 'I love you, Kelly!' And I'm like, 'Thank you.' I felt special."
"Dr. Phil gave me the biggest wake-up call," says Jackie. "I could've never, ever done this without him. The light bulb moment of the show was when Dr. Phil told me, 'That is abuse.' After the show, Dr. Phil arranged for us to receive therapy. It helped me immensely. When I do get upset, I walk out of the room, I walk outside. I still have my days of saying mean and hurtful things to Kelly. From my perspective, I don't think they're as hurtful." But Jackie admits, "It is a constant battle for me to say and do the right things when it comes to Kelly."
Since their last appearance, Kelly and Jackie have lost 30 and 55 pounds, respectively.
"Our relationship has improved, but it still needs work," says Kelly. "My mom still tells me that my stomach is sticking out." She turns to Dr. Phil, "My mom is better, but she still has work to do. How do I make her stop yelling at me?"
"First off, you've lost 30 pounds, and you've lost 55 pounds now? That is just absolutely terrific," Dr. Phil tells them. "How do you feel about that?" he asks Kelly.
"Awesome," she says.
He asks Jackie, "We've gotten you a team of people who are helping you out. Did any of them motivate you by saying you're a fat pig?"
"Nobody," says Jackie.
"Did any of them motivate you by putting you down, calling you names, anything of the sort?"
Jackie has been meeting with Deanne Edwards, a marriage and family therapist in Riverside, California. "That has really helped me because that made me realize what I'm doing to [Kelly,]" says Jackie. "And once in a while, Monster Mom does come out a little bit." Jackie wants to know, "How do you continue to motivate her, and how do you continue to deal with a normally frustrating 16-year-old?"
"Not by yelling," says Dr. Phil. "Obviously, that just doesn't work.
Dr. Phil continues, "Here's the thing, and this is something you've got to understand as well, Kelly. You've got to know that even though you're the child, you do have responsibilities in the relationship. You can do things that provoke confrontation — not that justifies yelling or being abusive with you — but you can do things that create frustration. And you need to hold yourself to a standard of living like a young woman with some personal pride and some personal standards, in terms of your body, your room, your responsibilities at school, those sorts of things."
He tells Jackie, "And you need to constantly remind her of that and go back to that, but that doesn't have anything to do with yelling and screaming. You're making good progress, the momentum is in the right
Robert Reames, the Dr. Phil show's official trainer for the Ultimate Weight Loss Challenge, has been working with Jackie and Kelly. His new book, Make Over Your Metabolism, is available in bookstores now.