Generation Lazy?: Kristin

Entitled or Enabled?
Dorothy calls her daughter, Kristin, “very responsible” and “the perfect child.” She says she doesn’t give Kristin enough credit. “She went to school, she has a wonderful job. She is so nice to me, but my relationship with Johnnie is ruining my relationship with her.”

In a previous interview, Kristin says her mother enables Johnnie. “She appreciates the attention, she secretly likes the drama that it brings, and she doesn’t know how to draw the line or have the discipline to put her foot down and really make him become self-sufficient. My brother really needs to learn that money doesn’t grow on trees, and that you have to earn it. You have to earn it by starting somewhere ... not by begging your parents for money or being abusive toward them to get what you want.”

Kristin joins the show via phone from Australia.

“You don’t think your brother is getting traction in life?” Dr. Phil asks Kristin.

“No, I don’t,” Kristin responds. “He’s been able to float along and fly by the seat of his pants, at the expense of my mother’s finances. So, really, there’s no responsibility or no need to try and get a job.”

“So, you think she enables him?” Dr. Phil asks Kristin. She agrees — and so does Dorothy.

“So, we can agree on that,” Dr. Phil says. He reads a previous statement by Johnnie: "For my mom to say that I abused the privilege of coming home is a load of crap. You would think that she would have the courtesy to let her kid stay with her."

Johnnie explains, “I said that in the context that I’ve made her a lot of money. I helped sell one of her houses in Las Vegas, I showed her Australia, where she’s bought and sold several apartments and made a lot of money there, and for her to say that I’m freeloading after I’ve helped her through all that stuff is kind of a load of crap.”

[AD]“Was he living at home when he was helping you sell this house on Craigslist?”

“Yes,” Dorothy responds.

Dr. Phil asks Johnnie, “You wanted to charge her $35,000?”

“I didn’t want to charge her anything. I didn’t ask for any part of it. I just helped her because that’s what I thought I should do,” Johnnie says.

“What do you want from me?” Dr. Phil asks Dorothy.

“I can’t say no. How do I stop this behavior?” she responds.

“So, this doesn’t really have anything to do with him,” Dr. Phil says.

“Well, he tortures me until I give in,” Dorothy says.

Johnnie says, “I haven’t talked to her in the last six months because I can’t deal with her crap. My sister hasn’t talked to her, and avoids her like the plague, because she knows that my mom is toxic, rude and insulting about everything, and never has a positive thing to say." He says his life is based upon positive affirmation, having a good time and keeping good company. "If that’s a problem, if that’s not what I should be doing with my life, I don’t really care. I’m enjoying myself,” he says.

“I think we all would do that if somebody else funded it,” Kristin says.

Dr. Phil asks Dorothy why she cares about her son’s endeavors.

“Oh, I don’t care, I’m happy, but he does it on my money,” Dorothy responds.

“Why? Just quit giving him money,” Dr. Phil says.

“She has,” Johnnie interjects.

“Then, I got the phone call two weeks ago,” Dorothy says. “I said, ‘Why do kids call their parents? They need money.'”

“No. My credit card was stolen and blocked and —” Johnnie says.

[AD]“It was a good story, and I believed it,” Dorothy says. “So, he said, ‘Can you just put $200 in my account?’ And I said no. I was so proud of myself.”

“And then you put it in,” Dr. Phil replies.

“Well, then I thought about it, and I thought, ‘Oh, his birthday was in September,’ and I emailed him and said, ‘Happy Birthday,’ and I went to the bank and put the money in. It was only $200.”

“You don’t want him to move in with you, right?” Dr. Phil asks Dorothy.

“Exactly, but if you don’t have money, you can’t live,” she responds.

“I haven’t asked you for anything,” Johnnie says to Dorothy.

“Well, you just asked me for $200!” she exclaims.

“He’s an adult,” Dr. Phil says to Dorothy.

“But I’ve paid for all his world travels. I’ve paid for everything. He’s worked one month in his life,” Dorothy says.

“This is what I have to deal with on a regular basis, and you wonder why I try to avoid it,” Johnnie says. “All she ever talks about is money."

“Money makes the world go ‘round,” Dorothy responds. “You can’t live without money.”

[AD]“I don’t care about money. I’m over it. I don’t want any part of it,” Johnnie says.

“He doesn’t care because he doesn’t have any. You’ve got nothing to lose,” Dorothy says with a chuckle.

“I’m enjoying my life. I’m honestly truly happy in everything that I’m doing right now,” Johnnie says emphatically.

Dr. Phil has some tough love for Dorothy.