Get Over It: Charmaine and Lia

Get Over It: Charmaine and Lia
Dr. Phil explains how to overcome what's holding you back so you can be happy and move on with your life.

"I use my body as a money-making machine," says 19-year-old Lia, who works as a "dancer" at bachelor parties. "I get numb to it. I do it for the pleasure of the money, not for the pleasure of getting naked."

 

Her mom, Charmaine, is concerned. "I want Lia to go to college," she says. "She's throwing her life away." Charmaine says Lia has become "increasingly rude" and she's worried about the negative impact it has on her other children. "Lia has disrupted the entire household. I'd like to kick her out," says Charmaine. "I want her to give a damn. She makes me sick."

 

Lia's father died four years ago from colon cancer. "I watched him take his last breath," says Lia. "It's a permanent cemented hole in my chest that nobody can replace. Nobody." She admits that she wouldn't be dancing like this if her father were still alive, but she wants her mother to back off and let her live her life.

"What are you doing for money?" Dr. Phil asks Lia.

 

"Shaking my booty," Lia says, matter-of-factly.

 

"Are you a stripper?" Dr. Phil asks.

 

"I'm a dancer," she replies.

 

"Do you leave the stage with fewer clothes than you walked up there with?" Dr. Phil clarifies.

 

"OK, I'm a stripper, all right," says Lia

 

"And you think it's OK because you're making money?" Dr. Phil asks.

 

"No, this is actually very temporary. This is where the money's at," says Lia.

"Do you think the cost is pretty high in what you're having to do or do you enjoy what you're doing?" Dr. Phil asks Lia.

 

"I go numb," says Lia. "You have to ... I don't like getting naked though. That's just what they want. If I had my choice, I'd leave my clothes on the whole time."

 

Dr. Phil asks Lia about her father, whom she says was very overprotective. "Have you grieved the loss of your father?"

 

"Yeah. I still do. It hurts," she says.

 

Charmaine admits that she probably doesn't know the whole truth about her daughter, but she knows that Lia hasn't taken the time to get to the bottom of her feelings. "A lot of this is about the anger and how disrespectful she has become," says Charmaine.

 

Lia agrees. "I'm a total bitch. I'm very disrespectful to my mom." When Dr. Phil questions why, she says, "Because she irritates the sh** out of me. She's always on my a**."

Dr. Phil tells Lia that her attitude is disrespectful and inappropriate. "But deep, deep in the interview, I also read you said, 'I hate what I'm doing, and all the laughter and the loud mouth is covering up a lot of pain because I am hurting a lot inside.'"

 

"Oh, yeah," agrees Lia, who admits she puts on an act that she's happy. "I don't really get deep into my dad's death because I go crazy ... It's hard to go there." Lia also admits that she uses drugs and alcohol to escape reality.

 

Dr. Phil tells Charmaine, "My dad used to say, 'For every rat you see, there's 50 you don't.' What she's telling you is, 'I'm smoking dope, drinking and stripping.' That's what she's telling you ... I don't believe that's the whole story."

 

He turns to Lia: "I, too, worry about your safety ... This business of stripping and clubs — all of this stuff — is a very dangerous business. And there are very dangerous people in that."

 

Lia clarifies that she only strips at parties, not clubs, and that a bouncer comes with her.

"OK. So you're not in a public place, which means there's less regulation and accountability," says Dr. Phil. "I think that you are making decisions that seem to make sense to you, but they don't make sense to anyone but you ... There's no future to what you're doing. You're putting yourself at risk and you leave a lot of your character behind every time you bend over to pick up your clothes to walk off that stage or walk out of that party."

 

Lia disagrees. "Nobody can touch me," she says.

 

"They don't have to touch you to demean you. It's live pornography," Dr. Phil tells her.

 

He asks Lia if she would consider seeing a therapist if he arranged for one.


"Yes, I will," Lia agrees.


"You can examine some of these issues for yourself and it may change your opinion," says Dr. Phil.

 

"Thank you," says Charmaine. "That sounds excellent."