Girl World: Sabrina

Long-Term Scars

Sabrina says that the bullying she endured from other girls growing up still affects her today. In the documentary, Finding Kind, she says, "In second grade, these little girls would go and follow me, and they'd yell out that I was a slut. One of the sleepovers that I was at, in the middle of the night, they took Sharpies and they drew all over me, on my arms and my legs, and all over my face, inappropriate symbols and words. I took a brillo pad and was trying to scrub the Sharpie off of my face, which really hurt. I didn't want my parents to know what they had done to me. They said I was fat, and the thing that they said that really stuck with me was calling me ‘big nose.' Because of what they said, to this day, I don't know if I've ever truly felt beautiful."

Sabrina tells Dr. Phil that her bullying experiences were long term " elementary school, middle school and high school. "Despite the fact that I knew what they were doing wasn't justified, I've still internalized for 22 years now the things that they have said," she says. Sabrina says the bullying still affects her relationships with women and men.

[AD]Dr. Phil tells her, "But there's a point at which you have to decide, ‘I'm going to be my own best friend. I am going to decide who I am,' because I guarantee you, those kids who were making fun of you in the fourth grade probably couldn't pick you out of a lineup today. They're gone. They've moved on, but you've stayed there and taken that on, and you put it on like a coat every morning, and you wear it out into the world. You have to decide ‘I know who I am inside,' and you really don't know that. You haven't done the inventory to decide that yet because if you have, then that stuff doesn't get to you."

Dr. Phil turns to audience and asks them to raise their hand if, at some time in their life, they were bullied. Nearly every person raises their hands, demonstrating to the guests that they are not alone.

[AD]Jay turns to previous guest, Rebekah, and points out that the insults bullies throw out are nearly the same in every story. "I mean, it can't be true about everybody, right?" he asks. "It's like they've figured out a long time ago, way before you were even born, what it was that you could say to a girl that she would absolutely hate and feel bad about afterward. It has nothing to do with you."

"They pick on what they know will get to you. Like, for girls, it's ‘You look fat.' For me, it would be ‘You're bald,'" Dr. Phil jokes.