Lynn apologizes, saying, "I feel sorry for Theo because he never does anything deliberately to hurt me."
"Dr. Phil, I need some help," says Theo. "I want to fix it and make it better for her, but I'm not sure what to do."
Lynn replies, "I'm the oldest of four girls and we never talked about this. My mother ate Cheetos and Heath Bars for 10 years. Once she stopped doing that, menopause was over. Honestly, [Theo and I] have never talked about it."
"But do you know why?" asks Dr. Phil. "Because you were sitting there thinking that you were crazy! You don't go to your friends and say, 'I'm insane.'"
"Well, my friends have all had surgery with this," says Lynn. "I know no one who has actually gone through the physical experience."
Dr. Phil continues, "Now do the math, you've got two periods, that's 14 days. Then you've got three to four days [of PMS], that's another eight days. Now you're talking 22 days, plus the time that you're pouting because she's hurt your feelings. And you guys don't know how to talk to each other, so basically, you have about a pretty good day-and-a-half a month!
"But the most important thing [Theo] says out of this is, 'I love my wife completely. I am totally committed to helping her with this. I will not let it come between us.'"
"So the idea is to come up with a plan. But it has to be a behavioral plan. You really do have to have emotional integrity where you no longer pretend it's not happening to you. Don't be shocked by it when it comes. There are so many things that you both can do that will change the behavior. Pay attention to the calendar. These aren't times to problem solve. And if she needs to vent some, let her vent. But use some boundaries as you go through that. And, Lynn, you've got to have this dialogue with yourself where this is something that you embrace because it happens to every woman."