Social Experiment on Infidelity

Dr. Phil sends Brett, an actor into a local bar to see how single women will respond to his wedding ring.

After getting his groove on on the dance floor, Brett flirts with several attractive ladies. "Can I join for a couple minutes?" he asks. "Let me just say this: Let's say you have a husband. You marry him, the next thing you know, he gains 50 pounds and turns into a bastard. Well, picture that as my wife!"

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"Ouch!" the woman replies. "When's your divorce final?"

 

After receiving a kiss on the cheek, the actor makes his rounds in the crowded club.

 

"Things changed a lot since we got married," he tells a woman at the bar. "Do you have a problem with a guy who's married?"

"Um, no," she responds.

Brett, who is actually single, joins Dr. Phil in his studio. "How many numbers did you get?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Three," Brett replies.

"With a wedding ring on?"

"Absolutely. I was blatant about it," he replies. But he says that not every woman he talked to took the bait. "Some girls were upholding the sanctimony of marriage."

Turning back to the mistresses onstage, Dr. Phil points out that Sarah says she was involved with a politician in England and had a seven-year affair with chef Gordon Ramsay from the reality show Hell's Kitchen.

"That story was exposed," Sarah says. "When they did come to me and ask for my side of the story, absolutely, I wanted to give it, so every word is right."[AD]

"He denies it, right?" Dr. Phil asks.

"He still is denying it."


"Do you feel bad about talking about that?" Dr. Phil probes. "You knew he was married, right?"

"I don't feel bad, Dr. Phil. It's the case of the other woman gets cast aside, whereas these guys tend to go on with their lives, their happy families, whereas we're the ones who suffer, which is why I started my online support group."

 

"I really want to say that we are not really chasing married men. We get pursued, or at least for myself," Martina says.

"Your question was, ‘Why do these wives get so dramatic?'" Dr. Phil tells Martina. "You're sleeping with their husband!"

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Dr. Phil takes Judy to task about staying with a married man.

"I understand that, but you know what? Just leave it at home, shut the door, leave the other woman and make your marriage work. I didn't pursue him," Martina says. "You have choices, right?"

 

Brenda admits to being in a relationship with a married man for two and a half years. "I did not go after him, I want to say. I was in a long-term marriage, 20-plus years. I thought his marriage was over. He was leaving his marriage. He was not my type; I wasn't even attracted to him," she says. "But as we got to know each other, I fell in love with his spirit."

"If you know they're married, you know they're married," Dr. Phil says. "Didn't he cheat on you with somebody else?"

"Once we moved in, and the [chase] was over, yeah," Brenda replies, adding that she was engaged and had a wedding date set when she found out that her betrothed was cheating with many women.

"You've been in this for 15 years," Dr. Phil tells Judy. "Where are you now? You are divorced and living alone."

"I'm living with my children," she says sheepishly.

"You're cheating yourself," Dr. Phil stresses. "I wish we would have had this conversation 14 years and 51 weeks ago, because I would have told you, ‘This is a dead-end street!'"

"Everybody thinks we're the ones who are wrong. We do get stuck loving these men. Sarah has brought us together so we can vent and our pain is heard. Nobody else will hear our pain," Judy says. [AD]

"Make no mistake, I do not doubt for one second that you guys have experienced a lot of pain as a process of this. I totally get that," Dr. Phil says.

Audience member, Melvine, shares her thoughts. "I'm listening to all of this, and it's very sad to me, because I have been cheated on," she tells Dr. Phil. She turns to the women onstage. "You have inflicted pain on myself and other women who are in committed relationships. It's not any one of you all's business to fix a man's marriage."