Internet Mistakes: Jasmine, Amanda, Norma

The New Female Bonding?



"I'm a moderator of the Facebook online group, Thirty Reasons a Girl Should Call It a Night," Jasmine says. "The group is made for females who drink, act a little crazy, wild, dance around, make fools of themselves, but in a funny way. There are 175,000-plus people and almost 5,000 pictures."

"These photos of these women in the fetal position, wrapped around toilets full of their own bile-laced vomit and in various stages of undress, it made me embarrassed to be a female," says Amanda, who opposes the Facebook group, Thirty Reasons ... "Anybody with any sort of influence over your life just has to make five or six clicks, and there you are, peeing in a fountain."

Although she's supposed to report obscene images, Jasmine says, "I haven't seen one yet." Jasmine is also a member of Thirty Reasons ... "I posted a picture. I'm double-fisting beers in a bar. I refuse to censor myself. My opinion of the pictures is it's fun."

"She thinks it's all in jest, but the consequences of that good fun are really what the issue at hand is," Amanda says.

Norma also opposes the group. "Anyone who makes a fool of his or herself, especially on the Internet, doesn't realize what they're getting themselves into," she says.

Facebook group member, Mary, 17, says, "I thought it was funny, how they had all the pictures up on it. I didn't see anything wrong with it."

Can documenting your drunken night out really do damage? Brad is the president of JobBound, a company t
hat helps people find employment. "Having inappropriate stuff on a Facebook page is going to be damaging for someone's career," he says. "I wouldn't hire somebody if I saw them dancing around naked, urinating in public, vomiting into a trashcan. That's not the kind of person who I want to make an investment in as an employer. What you're saying is, ‘I'm not mature. I don't have great judgment.'"

Thirty Reasons ... was recently featured in a story on CNN. "The CNN piece portrayed the group in a very negative light," Jasmine says. "After the CNN piece, I got instant messages saying I'm a dirty whore, I'm a bitch and I should just stay wrapped around a toilet. I don't endorse public urination, alcohol poisoning, but I do find humor in some of the things that happen when you do go to a bar and drink. Myself, the members, we aren't trash, we aren't whores, we don't lack class, and we are intelligent. There's still a double standard of genders. Thirty Reasons a Girl Should Call It a Night is the next step for women."

"The women who post on here are trying to turn this into an issue of gender inequality, and that's not it at all. I would go so far as to say it's taking a step backward," Amanda says.

Norma agrees. "We can be confident, and have fun, and go out and not have to be puking in a toilet," she says. 

"Tell me what the goal and the objective is of Thirty Reasons ... ," Dr. Phil says to Jasmine.

"It's humorous to myself and the people of the group. Like, we've all been there," Jasmine
explains. "It's just everyone coming together, saying, ‘Hey, you know, it happens. This is fun.'"

"This is just curious to me, as we look at some of these pictures," Dr. Phil says. "So, most of these people submit these pictures themselves? Why would somebody do that? That just seems strange."

Amanda and Norma have visited the Facebook message boards, to give their advice and opinions to other young women. Dr. Phil asks

them, "You wouldn't do it?"

"Absolutely not," Amanda says. "I would never even consider posting photos of myself in such a compromised position on the Internet for anybody to access. Absolutely not. That's a horrible idea."

"Yeah, I don't think any good can come of it," Norma says, "and I think for a lot of these young ladies, they just wanted attention. And you know, there's a saying, ‘Negative attention is better than no attention,' and I think maybe these girls are doing it to get attention."

Dr. Phil addresses Jasmine. "You actually said that this is a whole movement, it's a whole statement; that you wanted to get the ball rolling on women having the right to express themselves, and that if men did it, it would be OK."

"Well, men do do it, and it is OK. It's considered male bonding," Jasmine says. "I'm not saying that this is the next step in a feminist movement … I mean, like I said, men can go out, drink, be stupid, get in a bar fight, but that's expected of them. It's seen as OK. It's more socially acceptable than it is for a girl to drink and fall over."

"Well, I've got sons, one 21 and one 28, and it's not expected from them," Dr. Phil says. "You sound like you're saying that you feel like women should have equal opportunity to humiliate themselves."

"They should have the right to present themselves in whatever manner,"
Jasmine explains.


"You said, ‘Why can't I be a beer-drinking, shot-taking girl?'" Dr. Phil says, showing Jasmine's photo of her drinking two beers at once. Jasmine has another photo of herself getting sick after drinking too much, but she didn't want that photo shown. Dr. Phil asks her why.

"Because there is a difference between Facebook and national television," Jasmine says. "I wasn't trying to make a statement or be a spokesperson," she says.