Invasive In-laws: Kasey and Luke

Invasive In-laws: Kasey and Luke
Dr. Phil talks to a woman who fears that her husband's parents are trying to break up her marriage.
"I have the worst in-laws in the world," says Kasey, who's been married to Luke for four-and-a-half years.

Luke says, "I think my ma doesn't get along with Kasey because she thinks I deserve better."

His mother agrees. "I don't think she's good enough for my son because of her past and her upbringing," says Carol.

Kasey blames her in-laws for ruining her wedding day. "When we were saying our vows, I could see my in-laws' facial expressions. They looked disgusted," she remembers. "When we were standing in the wedding line, my husband and I both heard Luke's mom saying to a friend, 'This isn't going to last long.'"

After four years of marriage, the couple decided to call it quits. Luke says his mother had a lot to do with his divorce. "She was more or less a cheerleader during the whole thing," he reveals.

The couple recently got remarried, but Luke says the stress is killing him. "I feel I'm caught in the middle and I can't do this anymore," he says.

Turning to Dr. Phil, Kasey says, "Please help us before we cut them out of our lives forever."
"I think extended family is very important, so I'm always looking for a way to make this kind of thing work instead of a way to fracture it," Dr. Phil explains.

He notes that Luke asked his parents to follow Kasey so they could catch her doing something wrong.

"At a time, yeah, I did," Luke confesses.

Addressing Luke's parents, Dr. Phil says, "I think you should have said no. But nonetheless you got invited into this mess, right?"

Kasey chimes in, "They were happy to follow me. I feel that they are very much wanting to find me doing something wrong."

"Are you guys against this marriage?" Dr. Phil asks Dewey and Carol.

They both say no.

"You're not? Because they both say that you've encouraged divorce in this. Dewey, I understand that you refer to her as 'Miss Priss' and 'Miss Psycho B**ch.'"

Dewey tries to clarify. "I have already seen her in the psycho b**ch ways," he says. "It is just screaming and then it's little school girl."

"One thing I know for sure is that name calling and character assassination and personal attacks do nothing except create hard feelings that are hard to get past," Dr. Phil says.
Dr. Phil questions if Luke's parents are trying to get information about Kasey from their 5-year-old granddaughter.

"Absolutely not," Dewey protests. "Mackenzie will come up and tell us things that we don't prompt her."

Carol backs him up. "She's been talking about things since she was 2, about names that she's heard her mama call her dad and how she felt about it."

Dr. Phil says, "It's my understanding ... that you, Carol, tell your granddaughter that Kasie's mom is her pretend grandma, that you're the real grandmother."

"It's the opposite way around," Carol says.

Kasey interjects. "We have never, ever, ever said anything about Dewey and Carol being pretend grandparents. I did not get the chance to have a relationship with my grandparents, so in no way would I keep our children from them," she says, growing emotional.
Addressing Luke, Dr. Phil says, "You're saying that you feel like you're in a tug-of-war, in the middle. What's that like for you?"

"It's tearing me apart," Luke admits. "On this end, I need to stick up for my wife, but I need to love my parents also and be in their life."

"I want everybody here to ask yourself, honestly, what you're doing to contribute to the turmoil, because the truth is, it's the children that pay the price," Dr. Phil says. He points out that Kasey's children feel that they are betraying her if they feel loving toward their grandparents.

Dr. Phil tells Luke that he needs to take more of a leadership role in his family. "It is your job to put up a boundary. It's also your job to build a gate in that boundary, so people that love you in your extended family can come in and out appropriately," he says. "You've got to be the leader here because these are your parents."

Kasey needs to make sure that she's not arguing with her in-laws just to be right. "It's not about being right. It's about being happy and peaceful and tranquil for you and the kids," Dr. Phil says sternly. "I'm being very, very careful to protect the role of the grandparents for these children because it's critical ... I don't want you cut out of those children's lives, but you have to be appropriately involved."