'Is My Son a Sexual Predator?' Aftermath

'Is My Son a Sexual Predator?' Aftermath
Dr. Phil has advice for learning to bond with a child you don't like.

Dr. Phil makes clear that when Brad and Kenda first contacted the show, they were very suspicious about what was going on with

Mikai. "You had to come here with the anticipation that that was going to be confirmed, not refuted. True?"

 

"True," Brad agrees.

 

"What did you think was going to happen at that point? That you were just going to drop him off in LA and say, 'So long'? I don't like the fact that you have a disease and have made bad choices," Dr. Phil asks.

 

"My idea was at least give us some peace. Give us a little while, the rest of us as a family, to heal up a little bit before we have to be immersed back into Mikai," Brad replies, explaining that the

main focus of the family has been Mikai for months.

 

Responding to criticism about the family's decision to go on national TV with their issue, Dr. Phil says, "The truth is, this was very public in your community." Brad and Kenda agree. "This wasn't going to be some new revelation, and I think you both believed that had you not come here, he would be in jail today instead of in treatment ... His behavior was unraveling and you were getting ready to have that knock on the door. You pre-empted that. He's in treatment and things are moving in the right direction."

Dr. Phil recalls Brad's comment to Mikai from the previous show: "You are dead to us." He points out that Brad said that in anger, and

asks him, "That is not how you feel as you sit here now, correct?"

 

"Correct. Right now I feel as though there's hope for this boy," Brad says. "I just can't carry that hate. I can't do it."

 

"Hate the disorder. Hate the behavior," Dr. Phil tells him. "This is your son!" He looks to Kenda. "Don't you let him or anybody else tell you that you aren't his mother and that you aren't entitled to love him and nurture him and comfort him and be there for him," he tells her. "You need to and should nurture him. It's not rewarding bad behavior. His behavior right now has been to step up as a man and get himself help, and get himself treatment and work to turn his life around."

 

He adds, "I truly believe that there is hope here, and that with proper treatment and proper healing in the family, that this can turn out OK."

Kenda is having a hard time accepting what Mikai has done. Dr. Phil asks her, "When you think about it objectively and intellectually, are you honest enough with yourself to embrace the truth?"

 

"I know it because I'm an intelligent woman, and [the polygraph] told us the truth, but my heart says, 'He's my son. He couldn't do

this. He's kind. He's compassionate. He would never hurt his little sister. He would never hurt me. This isn't in his character.' Denial, denial, denial."

 

Dr. Phil makes clear that the polygraph is a sophisticated, investigative tool that has a high degree of accuracy, but it is not foolproof. In this case, Mikai also admitted to his wrongdoings.

 

"He's a pathological liar," Kenda interjects. "I sat there right across from him when he admitted it and my heart was ripped out."

 

Dr. Phil reminds Kenda that they are not only relying on the polygraph and Mikai's admission, but on what the school, the girls and his brothers have said. "You'll never be able to deal with this until you come out of the denial and acknowledge what's going on," Dr. Phil tells her.

 

"I know that. All of the puzzle pieces are in place. Everything you said is true. Everything that I know is true, but I don't want the puzzle to be put together."

 

"You have to be honest with yourself about this, but don't let me talk you into it."

Dr. Phil shares his opinion about whether he feels Mikai should come home. "Mikai is a part of this family. Good, bad, indifferent, he's part of this family. Question is, can he ever be a healthy,

trusted, involved member of this family, and the answer is yes. Isn't that the whole purpose of doing all of this?"

 

"Definitely," Kenda says.

 

"You didn't bring him here just to get an answer and leave him if you didn't like it and take him home if you did. The idea was to try to get this young man some help," Dr. Phil points out, noting that Mikai will not be able to come home anytime soon. "It would be irresponsible for you to do that. It would be impossible for the state to allow that. But that doesn't mean that you don't adjust your relationship and love this young man the best that you can. It's not about hate; it's about help. And I need you both plugged in to do that."

 

Dr. Phil looks to Brad. "You can't be hiding behind your anger. Your son owes you an apology and you owe your son an apology. He is not dead to you, and he needs to know that the end product of all this hard work is that he has somewhere to go. That he has a family to be a part of," he says. "Should you move him back into the home in the near future? No. Should your relationship with him stay active and engaged? Absolutely."