'Is This Normal?: Patti and Andy

Workaholic Husband
Dr. Phil talks to a workaholic husband.

Patti says that her husband Andy spends more time at work than he does at home. She thinks this isn't normal and wants Dr. Phil's opinion.

"I don't think I'm a workaholic," says Andy. "It's my business. I have to be there. To maintain a successful business, you have to give 100 percent, every day. I wish my wife would understand."

"He is a workaholic," says Patti. She goes on to explain that they have 9-year-old twins and she worries that Andy is missing out on watching them grow up. "It makes me mad he works so much," she says. "Dr. Phil, is it normal for him to work six days a week, 12 to 14 hours a day, every week?"

When Dr. Phil asks Patti what is working in their marriage, she answers, "We are very happy. We have two great kids. He's a wonderful husband and father " which is why I want to see him more."

Turning to Andy, Dr. Phil says, "First off, you're not a freak to be spending this amount of time at work. Truck drivers, doctors and other professionals spend 12 to 14 hours a day at work in this day and age."

"When I ask people what their priorities are, they tell me one thing, but do something different with their time," explains Dr. Phil. "They say that God, health and family are at the top of the list. But based on how they spend their time, business is at the top " and God, family and health get pushed to the bottom."

"It takes one to know one," Dr. Phil continues. "I fight this every day of my life. Men tend to measure their worth based on what they achieve. One day I changed my definition of success. I didn't take success out of the equation. But I added other things to the equation of success " not just monetary currency: family currency, spiritual currency, and emotional currency."

"Broaden your definition of success," advises Dr. Phil. "Ask yourself, 'How did I do with the twins or with my wife this week?' Don't just ask, 'How did I do with the business this week?'"

Dr. Phil gets Andy to agree to try delegating more at work in order to make time for the family. Andy commits to negotiating a plan with with his wife and trying Dr. Phil's approach for 30 days.