Jeff Who Lives at Home: Tyler

A Doomed Future?
"If Harvard passed out a degree on being a moocher and freeloader, Taylor would graduate with honors," says David, of his 19-year-old son. "Taylor has mooched off of his sisters and his brother that they can’t give him anymore."<br><br>"Taylor does not have a job. He has his friends paying for things for him. He has girls taking him out to dinner. He calls me up [and says], ‘I need $20, Mom,’ and I give it to him," says Deanna. "I do spend money on Taylor. Taylor was very privileged growing up. He
was hanging around kids who were privileged. I buy him nice blue jeans. I
buy him shoes that he needs. I want him to feel that he’s equal to
everybody else."<br><br>"I have been a moocher to my family. I try not to, but, I mean, it’s hard," says Taylor. "I should be going to school, right now, but I’m just hanging out, just playing it by ear."<br><br>"Taylor was three months away from graduating high school and got kicked out of school. Taylor has not graduated, and he does not have a GED," David explains. "Instead of looking for a job, he’s looking for the next high. He smokes marijuana every day." David adds that Taylor takes advantage of his mom. "His mother is the biggest enabler."<br><br>Deanna, a flight attendant, says that Taylor often calls her when she's traveling and asks for help. "I’ll be out of town somewhere, [and Taylor will call and say,] ‘Mom, I need you to order me a pizza. Dad doesn’t have any food in the house.’ I’m, like, ‘OK.,'" she says.<br><br>[AD]Taylor also has a lengthy criminal record and has been to jail numerous times for traffic tickets and DUIs. He's taken his father's car without permission while he was on Xanax and crashed into the front of a home and recently, he was arrested for having counterfeit money, but was eventually exonerated. His mom has spent more than $10,000 on his legal fees. <br><br>"I love Taylor. Taylor’s my son. I’m going to always have his back, but I want him to grow up. Taylor needs a serious intervention, and I’m waving the white flag," David says. <br>Taylor's sisters, Chelsea and Ashley, and Taylor's brother, Hunter, reveal that their brother's behavior is tearing apart the family.

"Taylor wakes up and he smokes weed, and that’s pretty much all he does all day," Chelsea says. "I believe that Taylor wants to be a drug dealer."

[AD]"He also likes the adrenaline rush of doing the wrong thing. He’s definitely the black sheep right now," Ashley says. "My dad’s not tough enough on him. He needs to kick him out of the house if he’s not doing anything."

Hunter, 13 months younger than Taylor, says he keeps his distance from Taylor because he’s a bad influence. "In some ways, I do feel like I’m the bigger brother, because I feel like I have to look out for him," he says. "I want to be the one who graduates and becomes something someday and be successful in life."

"If things don’t change, Taylor will end up in jail or dead," Chelsea says.

Dr. Phil tells David and Deanna that he hopes to help Taylor so that in the near future, he’s pulling his own weight and making a contribution to society. “To do that, I need to get you guys to pull your head out!” he tells them. “Why are you letting this kid do this? You two brought him into the world, and you started shaping him and molding him to be exactly what he is today, which is a moocher. You have trained him to be a moocher!”

Dr. Phil lists some of the ways Deanna has contributed to Taylor’s mooching, including giving Taylor a car even though he doesn’t have a driver’s license. He points out that David says Taylor steals money when he needs it, including sneaking into David’s room while he’s asleep and taking money out of his pant pockets.

Taylor joins his parents on stage and Dr. Phil learns that the 19-year-old doesn’t have a high school diploma, a car, a job or a house, and he’s living with his dad. He asks him, “What’s your plan for 2012?”

[AD]“Right now, I don’t have a plan,” he replies. “I guess I just have to find something that I really want to do, because right now, I’m getting forced to do stuff, like having a job. I don’t want to have a job that I don’t like doing. Why wake up to something that I don’t look forward to going to?”

“Because you need a job. Because you need money,” Dr. Phil says. “Because that could be the platform to get you to the job you do want.”

Dr. Phil lists Taylor’s criminal record, including numerous arrests and a few-day jail stay. “You don’t want to do this stuff, do you?” he asks Taylor, pointing out that he could be at college and dating. “Instead, you’re living with Daddy, you’re stealing money out of his pocket, and you’re on the Dr. Phil show."
On video, Chelsea shares, "I believe that my father doesn’t discipline Taylor. Taylor needed somebody’s urine to pass his drug test. He would have to pee in a cup for his probation officer to make sure that he wasn’t smoking weed, and he was actually on the right path. My dad didn’t want Taylor to get in trouble, so he peed in the cup for him every time he saw his probation officer."

David denies the allegations, and Dr. Phil asks Chelsea why she made those claims.

“He said that he was going to help him pass it one last time, and that’s all I heard,” she says.

“My dad’s never * for me, ever,” Taylor says.

“I’ve never done that,” David maintains.

“Maybe he was going to give him the motivation to help him pass the test,” Hunter says.

Dr. Phil asks Taylor, “What is the struggle for you? Why are you stuck?”

“Growing up, I guess, being wealthy, and now having to do stuff on my own, I’m not really used to it,” he says.

“How much dope are you smoking?” Dr. Phil asks.

“There have been times when I haven’t smoked it in a day, and there have been times I have smoked it every day,” he says, also admitting to drinking.

“You’re smoking dope and drinking alcohol, both illegally,” Dr. Phil says. “You’re consciously choosing to break the law every day.”

“You have to stop breaking the law.”


[AD]Dr. Phil offers to help Taylor get a job and provide him with a life coach.

Dr. Phil addresses David and Deanna. “If he breaks the law again, if one of you pay his bail, if one of you gets him an attorney, if one of you gets him out, I will pull all of my support for him, instantly,” he tells them.

The parents agree.

To Taylor, Dr. Phil says, “Get on the bus, go over there, and take pride in taking control of your life, not being egotistical and saying, ‘I’m too good for that.’”