Sugar <i>Mama</i>?

"My best friend, Keli, is a sugar mama," laments Megan. "Keli is 34 and Zach is 20. Keli is a sugar mama because she provides everything that Zach needs " from sex, to food, to clothing."

Keli denies being Zach's benefactor. "I'm not a sugar mama, even though Megan thinks I am," she says. "The first thing that attracted me to Zach was his looks. Sex is better with younger guys because they seem to last longer, and they aim to please."

Zach isn't turning down any gifts. "Keli has bought me a new Xbox controller, new hard drive, clothes, a Michigan coat, and she has bought my cell phone," he boasts.

"I don't approve of them together because he isn't contributing anything. Zach does not work. Keli has taken Zach to three Nascar trips, which cost $1,000 a pop," Megan reveals. "I believe Keli stays with Zach because the sex is good. Kelly is his trophy because she's blonde and beautiful."


With a smile, Zach shares, "I'm an all-star in the bedroom. Keli and I have sex 10 times a week. It's so good, it makes you want to go to church and praise the Lord!"

Currently, Keli doesn't have a job and pays most of her bills with credit cards. "On one of [my cards], I now have $16,000. On another one, $6,500. On another one is $5,000," she reveals. The relationship with her young beau is taking a familial turn. "I have a daughter, her name is Devon, and she's 6 years old. Sometimes, I parent Zach, but it's not in the same way as Devon."

As a reformed sugar mama, Megan fears that her friend is headed for heartbreak. "If someone came along with more money, I believe Zach would be gone," Megan says.

"You don't think you are a sugar mama? You don't think you're being exploited? You don't think this is just wrong?" Dr. Phil asks Keli.

"No. Not at all," she replies.

Dr. Phil shoots her an incredulous stare. "Come on. Get serious," he says.

 

Dr. Phil asks Keli to reflect on the relationship of the previous guests, Hope and Al. Megan says, "He doesn't ask for expensive gifts. He doesn't ask for jewelry, cars or anything. And I don't have to just give him money."

"You took him to raise!" Dr. Phil counters. "You now have two children; you're just sleeping with one of them."

Pointing out that there is a 14-year age difference between Keli and Zach, Dr. Phil says, "And this is all going on with your 6-year-old daughter there."

"Yes," Keli says.

"Does that raise any issues about what you're exposing her to?"

"It does. She's too young right now to really understand anything, but he's not really being a father to her."

Dr. Phil frowns in disbelief. "Don't kid yourself. At 6 years old, she's probably the smartest person in the room," he says. 

Turning to Megan in the audience, Dr. Phil says, "What do you think about this?"

"I like Zach, but he's a kid. I don't believe they're on the same wavelength. He's not bringing anything to the table. I just feel that she deserves better in her life," she answers.

 

"You kind of had yourself a boy toy, and you got a wake-up call, right?" Dr. Phil asks.

 

Megan responds, "Well, I had a grandmom pass away, and another grandmom pass away about a month after that. And I had foot surgery. I called the guy that I was seeing, and he cussed me out, didn't care how I was feeling or doing." 

 

Keli explains why she sought Dr. Phil's help. "I am jealous and insecure, sometimes, since I am older. I do get jealous that he's going to leave me for somebody his own age," she says.

 

"My opinion is that you do have very, very low self-esteem," Dr. Phil says. "You are getting used and abused, and you are selling out your dignity so you can have a 20-year-old kid pay attention to you. You understand that when the money stops, he'll drop you like a bad habit."

 

Keli protests, "I don't think he will, because the money has slowed down."

 

"And you're unemployed right now. So you're going into debt to live," Dr. Phil notes.

 

"Yes."

 

Dr. Phil wants Keli to consider the financial burden of her relationship. "You spent over $10,000 on him in the last year," Dr. Phil says. "Your daughter is 6. If you took that $10,000 and put that in an interest-bearing, compounding account, by the time she got ready for school, you would have over $20,000 for her education, that you're instead spending on your boyfriend."

 

"I understand," Keli says. "But he has to get a job."

"He's not going to get a job!" Dr. Phil declares. "He's not going to get a job until somebody comes and wrestles that Xbox controller out of his hand!"


Dr. Phil doesn't mince words with Keli. "You need to end this," he says. "If you want to have a relationship with him, let him go out, get a job, get an apartment, stand on his own feet, and see if he asks you for a date. And if he does, then consider it. Why don't you put that to the test?"

 

"He has to get a job," Keli repeats.