Love Resolutions: Noelle and Janet

Love Resolutions: Noelle and Janet

Noelle and Janet sat down with Dr. Phil to discuss their dating habits.

 

"Why do you think you're here?" Dr. Phil asks them.  


 
"We can benefit from your book," Noelle says. 
 
"As you quoted in the book, it's a game, and I guess my puzzle pieces are not in the right place on the game board," says Janet.
 
Dr. Phil addresses Noelle. "You have concerns about your independence. You don't want somebody supporting you and then being able to throw that up in your face," he says. "You have a philosophy that is, 'Get them before they get me. I'll reject you and alienate you, before you can hurt my feelings.'"
 
"That's true," Noelle agrees.
 
"It's a defensive game," Dr. Phil says. He addresses both women. "You two so have it going on. You so don't need a man to be OK, but you want one. Just like I don't need Robin to be OK, but I absolutely love her and want her, and I don't want to be without her." He addresses Noelle, "One of the things that you really strive to hide is that you're pretty lonely."
 
"I am," she agrees.  

Pointing out that Janet is very goal oriented, Dr. Phil asks her, "Has there ever been another goal than this, that you set in your life, that you fell short of?"
 
"No," Janet says.
 
"Don't you think that somehow you've got to be shooting yourself in the foot, because you said that

by the time you were 27 you wanted three kids?" Dr. Phil asks her.
 
"Twenty-five married. Twenty-seven first child," Janet clarifies.
 
"You've got everything going for you," Dr. Phil tells her. "How can you get to be 37 years old and not have what you want? You've got to be doing something really dumb."
 
"There's something," Janet agrees.
 
"You care how they look, what kind of car they drive, what kind of job they do. You don't mind that they're just rude," Dr. Phil says. "On the one hand, you are way too picky about the wrong things. On the other hand, you're so desperate, you make compromises you shouldn't make."
 
Dr. Phil tells the women he can help them find the guys they are looking for, if they are willing to work at it. He gives them a homework assignment. "Go home. Curl up with this book. I really want you to make this book like your dating Bible," he says. "Then we're going to put you back out there in the water. You can't catch a fish if you don't have your hook in the water."