Love Resolutions: Noelle

Love Resolutions: Noelle

After reading Love Smart, Noelle goes on a blind date and uses the

new tools she acquired from the book.


"I'm going to go attempt to do everything I learned in the book," Noelle says as she heads off for her date. "I feel that now, on this date, I do have some tools I didn't have before. I want my report card that Dr. Phil gave me last time to have all pluses." As she walks into the restaurant she says, "Right now everything is running through my head — the things I need to say. The things I don't need to say, not playing with my food and really listening — so I'm really nervous. I'm going to ask him a million questions about him, and I'm not going to say anything about me."

As Noelle chats with her date, Dr. Phil's advice plays in her head. She asks him a lot of questions, really listens to what he has to say, and maintains eye contact.

After the date, Noelle reveals her thoughts. "It went well on my part because I was able to go through and ask the questions that I wanted to ask, and to be right on point,

and look at him directly the whole time and give him my attention," she says. "I feel this date was a success for me. I met my goals and what I needed to do for my little baby steps on learning how to date."
Noelle's date gives her a new report card. "My date with Noelle was good. I think she's very attractive," he says. "Noelle asked great questions. I was impressed with the range of topics we talked about."

"You did better," Dr. Phil tells her. "Did it feel different?"
Noelle says it did. "I had the right questions to ask as opposed to just blurting everything out and not letting him ask me," she says.
"You took the chance here. How different did it feel?" Dr. Phil asks her.
"I felt like a success. It felt really good," she says.
There are five things that you need to use in your approach," Dr. Phil tells her. Know your audience – learn about men and know something about the guy you're going out with. Know your opening questions, so you aren't nervous and put on the spot for something to say. Know your star power. "This is really, really important," Dr. Phil tells Noelle. "You can't expect somebody else to date you if you wouldn't." Also important is having your sound bite prepared. "The sound bite is, 'If he knows nothing about me except these things at the end of the date, what is it I want him to know about me?'" And don't forget to know your fillers – topics you can use to carry a conversation.

Because Noelle and Janet are busy ladies and can't always watch Dr. Phil, they will receive Tivo with a full year of free service so they don't miss any important information.