Love Triangle: Mikeys Decision

Mikey's Decision
Should Jessica and Carly not agree to a three-way relationship, Dr. Phil asks Mikey which woman he’d choose. “If you had to push a button; a ‘Carly’ button or a ‘Jessica’ button, which button would you push?”

“Me and Jessica get along great, and I love being with her. We get together, and we fight and argue, but I understand why. So, it’d be very easy for me right now to say Jessica, and we’d go on,” Mikey says, “but a month from now, a day from now, or even two hours from now, I might be laying next to Jessica thinking, I don’t want to do this, I made the wrong decision, and I want Carly.”

“But you see, part of maturation, where you mature into different stages and phases in your life is that you recognize you have to make choices, then you have to live with those choices,” Dr. Phil explains. “And sometimes you make the right decision, and sometimes you make the decision right. But in one way or the other, you come out on the other end, in a way where your life is not in shambles emotionally, relationally or otherwise.”
 
Turning to Carly, Dr. Phil asks her, “Are you waiting for him to decide what happens to your life?”

“I feel like I’ve played out different scenarios in my head,” she says. “I sometimes feel like it is in his hands, but then I end up thinking, what am I even fighting for?”

[AD]Mikey explains that he approached Carly several times to talk about their marriage, but he claims she ignored him. He says even after they talked, Carly still seemed disinterested, broke up with him, started dating other men and said that she didn’t love him anymore.

“I never said I didn’t love you anymore,” Carly objects. “I never said that.”

Dr. Phil takes Mikey and Jessica to task about their behavior. “How do you feel that you’re not enough?” he asks Jessica.
Mikey says he believes he can truly make Jessica and Carly happy. “I mean, they fueled the fire of the three-way relationship, and made me think that it could work and to want to keep fighting for it.”

“I’ve been doing this longer than you’ve been alive,” Dr. Phil says. “There isn’t one chance in 10 million this is going to work. It will never, ever work where you have them both. There is no theory under which it would work. They could even agree that it could work, and you all start doing it, and it still would not work.”

Dr. Phil asks Mikey if he’s considered the future of his 3-year-old son. “Do you think this flies above his awareness so it doesn’t impact him yet?”
 
“To his level, I think it does impact him not living at home with mom and dad.”

“Do you feel at all bad about disrupting this family?” Dr. Phil asks Jessica.

She nods.

“You don’t feel bad about disrupting her marriage, but you do feel about the family aspect of it,” Dr. Phil observes.

[AD]“I never said I didn’t feel bad about it,” Jessica says, growing tearful. “I know my actions are showing differently, but it’s not like I don’t care about her. I just care about him, and I can’t let go and sorry isn’t going to cover it.”

“What you’re doing is you’re interloping into someone else’s marriage,” Dr. Phil says, “and I can tell you that relationships that are born from infidelity almost never, ever work. Everybody always thinks they’re the exception, but they just don’t work.”

Dr. Phil explains that Mikey and Jessica are “high-risk” candidates in relationships, and could likely cheat on each other or future partners.
 
“You need to finish one relationship before you start another one,” Dr. Phil tells Mikey.

Turning to Carly, he instructs, “And you need to cut [Jessica] out of your life, and work on your relationship if you are willing to do that. And if you are willing to do that, a lot of people are going to ask why. It simply may be time for you to accept reality and move on. He is a high-risk candidate, and the chances that these two are going to stop what they’re doing are close to zero … You’re young. You can remarry, you can find someone in your life who treats you with dignity and respect, because you are not being treated with dignity and respect now. You are being disrespected.”
 
Dr. Phil tells Carly and Mikey that he’s willing to offer them counseling in their hometown, if they’d like to heal their marriage.

“You can’t ride two horses with one ass.
"

“Would you at all be interested in doing any type of marital work here?” Dr. Phil asks Mikey.

“Of course I would like to work on my marriage, but I’m just not really sure I can commit to it right now,” he answers.

Carly says she not entirely convinced with Mikey’s answer, but she’s willing to try at least one counseling session. Dr. Phil explains that ultimately, the counselor may just offer her personal support to help her make a final decision about her marriage.

“How do you feel about these two going into some counseling?" Dr. Phil asks [AD]Jessica. "If that therapist said you need to stay out of here, and give them a chance to work this out, will you do that?”

“I promise,” she says through tears. “I’m not changing my heart about Mikey, but I’m just tired of doing all the wrong things.”

“Then maybe it’s time to start doing some of the right things for you and your child,” Dr. Phil says, “and let these people do the right things for their child.”