Man Camp, Part 6: Nic and Amanda

Best Friends Again

"When I first moved into The Dr. Phil House, I didn't know whether my relationship with my wife was going to last or not," Nic says.

"Nic and I were fighting all the time," Amanda recalls. "We were very verbally abusive toward each other. We were on the verge of divorce. I didn't realize all that we were putting at risk, until we sat down with Dr. Phil."

"I was glad I confronted the other man at The Dr. Phil House," Nic says.

"I was relieved to end my affair with the other man, because it was a chance for me to prove to Nic that he could trust me," Amanda says. "The one big piece of advice that Dr. Phil told me is that if I wanted my marriage to last with Nic, I had to quit working as an exotic dancer."

Two weeks after they left Man Camp, Amanda and Nic were struggling financially, so Amanda went back to work.

"She was still worried about the money, so she kept stripping," Nic explains.

But six weeks later, Amanda quit her job as a dancer. She now works at a college, as an assistant to a job placement coordinator. "I really like my new job," Amanda says. "I do miss the money I made as an exotic dancer. It's tempting to go back, but for our marriage, I won't. Since we've been to The Dr. Phil House, Nic has been a lot more confident in himself."

"It really hit home for me when Dr. Phil told me to grow up," Nic says.

"Nic has followed that advice. Nic tries his best every day to make me feel like I'm the most important person in the world," Amanda reports.

"Our relationship is outstanding," Nic says.

Amanda agrees. "On a scale of one to 10, I rated our marriage as a two before I moved into The Dr. Phil House. Now, I would rate my marriage a nine," she says.

Nic has plans in the works. "When Amanda and I got married, we didn't have a big wedding, we didn't have money for rings, and now I realize how important it is to her, so I went out and bought Amanda a ring. I don't have the ring right now. I'm still making payments, but I'm really excited to give the ring to Amanda," he says.

"Now our marriage is 10 times better. I can't picture us getting divorced anymore. I want to thank Dr. Phil for giving me my best friend back," Amanda says.

Dr. Phil sits down with Nic and Amanda.

Nic tells him, "I think we've come to an understanding, a realization that we're not each other's enemies, that we're here to support each other, so that when we do have slip-ups here and there, we don't go into that long, drawn-out battle. We don't go into that long, drawn-out fight. We take a minute to stop and go, ‘We're friends here. Let's stop and talk about it.'"

"Why do you think you're doing better?" Dr. Phil asks Amanda.

"I think we're doing better because we're taking responsibility for our own problems instead of blaming each other," she says. "Like we both notice our own faults and try to correct them. We're not trying to break each other's hearts anymore."

"You've stopped stripping?"

"Yes. It was based on what you had to say, but it was also based on me being ready. I think I needed to tell myself I was ready, and I was," she says. "We had an agreement, a plan together the whole time, so we were a team."

"What's the biggest challenge you face now?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Well, once a month we get a little frustrated with each other," Amanda says.

Nic says, "Yeah, at first I'll get upset about it. I'll be like, why is she attacking me? And then I realize she's not attacking me, she's upset."

"Neither one of us is willing to give up on our marriage now either," she says. "I know before I never felt like he cared whether I was there or not, and now he'll say, ‘I'm not giving up on us. I'm going to work on it,' and I need that reassurance, and he's giving that to me now, and he recognizes that I need that reassurance."

"You know, as I've said to you guys before, life is managed, it's not cured," Dr. Phil says. "And how well you're doing this time next year is going to be a function of how well you're managing it this time next year. I mean, it's something you just have to work at, and if you stay at it, and continue to put one foot in front of the other, you really get a momentum going, and that's what's happening to you guys. You've got a momentum going. And it's a momentum in the right direction because it was a momentum in the way wrong direction when we met. So you've turned it around, and you should be proud of that. You should really be proud of that because I'm proud of you."