Meddling Mother-in-law

Meddling Mother-in-law
Tara says her husband's mom intrudes on their lives.
Kathy lives just two blocks from Tara and her husband, Steve. Tara says her mother-in-law is constantly dropping by unexpectedly, walking in without knocking and cleaning up their home. "She criticizes the way I keep house," Tara complains. "I think Kathy's trying to cause trouble. Kathy wasn't around for her kids, but somehow she thinks she's this great mother."

Kathy sees it another way. "Tara could help herself by just saying, 'Yeah, I am a procrastinator. I am lazy. I would prefer to just sit and watch soaps and not clean,'" she says. "This place gets so messy that sometimes you can't walk through without taking your life in your hands."

Steve agrees with his mom, saying that poor housekeeping is just one of the problems in their household.
Tara is also bothered because her mother-in-law criticizes her weight. "She made the comment to me that my stomach was getting as big as my butt," Tara reveals.

Kathy justifies her remarks. "I tried to explain to Tara that the more weight you gain, it is unattractive. You're not living with a man that is accepting of that," she says. "He was worried that she would just keep getting fatter and fatter, and he'd end up with a huge person and a whole bunch of kids."

Indeed, Steve thinks his wife's weight gain has contributed to their marital problems. "Tara's weight issue fits in with our dismal sex life," he says, admitting that he cheated on his wife before they were married. "I think she still has trust issues. I can't blame her."

Tara worries that her husband has checked out of the relationship. She says he spends more time playing video games than being with her and their children. "I just feel like he doesn't want to be here. I want to hear him say that he loves me ... that he cares about me and the kids," she says tearfully.