Mikai Returns: Back On Stage
After two months of treatment for molesting his little sister, Mikai returns for an update.
Mikai joins his parents on stage with Dr. Phil. He says treatment, although very hard, has been worth it. "It's a workout, but it's changed my life," says Mikai. "I've learned that telling the truth is a lot easier on me. It doesn't wear me down as much as lying did. I've also learned tons and tons about boundaries. I've learned that without boundaries all your relationships your entire life aren't going to be healthy at all."

Dr. Phil introduces Dr. Khaleghi, the founder and executive director of Creative Care and Debra Carroll, a licensed psychotherapist who's been working with Mikai since he began treatment.

"In the beginning, Mikai came in pretty angry," says Debra. "He was feeling all sorts of fear and sadness and not capable of expressing it."
"Do you think you have a future?" Dr. Phil asks Mikai.

"Yeah, I think so," he says. Looking back, Mikai knows he would've eventually ended up in jail.

"And you know that you're not finished? That you have a lot of work to do?"

"Yeah. I'm aware of that," says Mikai.

Dr. Phil asks Brad and Kenda if they have anything they need to say to Mikai now that he sits in front of them.


Kenda tells her son, "I would like to ask you for your forgiveness."

"What is it that you want him to forgive you for?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I want him to forgive me for everything. Yelling too much, not protecting him," says Kenda.

"Do you think you should've had better boundaries between you and Mikai as well?"

"Definitely," says Kenda.
"What do you see in your future?" Dr. Phil asks Mikai.

"I'll definitely have stronger boundaries with my family, hopefully. Eventually we'll be able to start our relationship over," he replies.

"What's going to happen with you, Kenda, if he continues to climb this hill and gets to the point of being able to live healthily and independently and not re-enter the enmeshment of this family as it now exists?" asks Dr. Phil.

"I want to keep all my chicks right underneath my wing," Kenda admits. "I hope he doesn't forget that I'm his mom," she says tearfully.

"But do you understand that even if it was possible, the worst thing that could happen with him right now is to re-enter this family? Because this is not a healthy family right now."

"I know that," says Kenda.

"I wouldn't go back to their family," adds Mikai.
Dr. Phil recommends they continue to work on boundaries and sensitivity to age appropriateness. "You don't talk about things around young children that are beyond what they can control, beyond what they can understand and conceptualize," says Dr. Phil. And he reminds Kenda that Mikai is a grown man and can't come home to live with them again. "That's not healthy at this point. You have to let that go."

Although Kenda thinks sexual abuse is in "every home everywhere," it isn't. "It's not everybody. That's not the norm. There are healthy, functioning families and you can become one of those," says Dr. Phil.

When Dr. Phil points out that Kenda wanted to bring her daughter with them to the show, Kenda says, "I know I need boundaries, but I don't think a mother can have too much love for her children."

Dr. Phil responds, "That isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about having a sexually dysfunctional environment and wanting to gather all the children around and have them there so nobody misses any of it. That is what being too much of a mother is ... Love without boundaries is like a missile without a guidance system: You have no idea where it's going."

"I'm learning that," says Kenda.
At the end of the show, Dr. Phil commends the work that Kenda, Brad and Mikai have been doing. "The good news is you're not alone. You're surrounded by good people. You've got wonderful resources here with Creative Care. You're taking a lot of the right steps."


Mikai says, "I'm going to keep working and I hope they'll keep working too."