Mikai Returns: Mikai in Treatment
After two months of treatment for molesting his little sister, Mikai returns for an update.
Dr. Phil referred Mikai to Creative Care, a center that deals with disorders like sexual addiction, impulse control and substance abuse. Cameras were allowed in a session with Mikai, his parents and his therapist.

"Mikai, what have you learned in treatment?" Dr. Khaleghi asks.

"I've learned tons about boundaries and how to have healthier relationships, stronger physical boundaries," says Mikai. "I like knowing what I can do and what I can't do. When I was growing up, my parents would have consequences, but they wouldn't follow through with them. That meant that I could do whatever I want."

"I was a severely abused child and my destination in life was to be an abuser, and I did not want that," Kenda explains. "Mikai learned at a very young age that he could manipulate me because I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want him to be mad at me.

Dr. Khaleghi asks her, "I know about the abuse you've endured as a child. How much did you disclose to your children?"

"I did not reveal the details to them until probably about five years ago," says Kenda. "Thinking that I was educating, I was letting them know that I lived through this as a small child."Mikai reveals that he's known about his mother's abuse long before she told him. He says he probably overheard her telling somebody else when he was around 6 years old.

Kenda explains, "I thought I was protecting my kids, saying, 'You know, there are bad people out in the world.' Inside of myself, I couldn't see what I was doing to my own kids."

Brad also shared his abusive past with his children. "I was more the detail guy. I feel like it was a horrible mistake and that I've probably done more damage than good," he says.

Dr. Khaleghi tells Mikai, "Your mom's intention was to prevent those sort of things from happening to you. And what ended up happening is you took advantage of other people in the family ... How have you been dealing with your sexual desires and your sexual impulses?"

"I deal with them fine," says Mikai. "There's people there that I could have taken advantage of. I could have manipulated them into giving me what I wanted."

"What stops you from doing that?"

"The structure, mostly, I think," says Mikai.

"How much do you find yourself compelled to lie?" Dr. Khaleghi asks.

 

"Not very often," says Mikai. "And when I do, I usually catch myself before I do, I think."

"And you come clean?"

"Yeah," says Mikai. "Well, no, not like toward patients, but if it's with my therapist or one of the staff, I go back to them, and I'll be like, 'That's not completely true.' I'm not stupid. I'm not dumb, so I'm capable of doing the right thing."

Later, Mikai reveals, "Last Wednesday, I cried all day long. I was feeling guilty mostly about like abusing my family and how much I screwed them over. I wish would've been nicer to all of them, but mostly [my little brother]. I feel bad. I was a d**k to him. I was just mean to him."

Back on stage with Dr. Phil, Kenda explains that she was a "wounded spirit" as a child and now she lives with a lot of guilt because of what her family is going through. "If I could've learned more at a younger age instead of when I'm 38, I wouldn't have put so much harm on my kids."

 

"There are things that you can change," Dr. Phil tells her, suggesting that she and Brad need to look at the sexually charged environment they're creating for their family when they share the details of their past, especially in front of their youngest kids. Dr. Phil also reprimands Kenda for sending Mikai a family picture, including his little sister whom he molested. "That's provocative behavior, intentionally or otherwise," he says. "And that has to stop."

Dr. Phil continues, "We need to drain the sexual energy from this atmosphere ... There are Five Factors for a Phenomenal Family. And one of those factors is not having an environment pervaded by sexual molestation, abuse, fear and reaction to that."

Dr. Phil reminds Brad and Kenda that how they interact and respond to Mikai is very important. He brings up the time when Mikai told his mom he was making progress, and she said, "It's just a honeymoon period. You're not really getting better."

"What was your prediction of the impact of that message to Mikai?" Dr. Phil asks.

"'Don't sh*t on me again, kid, because I'm not falling for it.'"

Dr. Phil says, "Answer this very, very carefully. Do you honest to God, no kidding, believe that your family can be healed and get better? Or do you honestly, truthfully believe that this is your plight in life and you've got no way to ever escape all of this pain and dysfunction?"

Kendra gets emotional during Dr. Phil's question. "Four days ago I would say this is my plot in life. It has haunted me from infancy and I thought I had gotten rid of it. And now it plagues my children and it plagues our marriage."

"I don't want you to live your life as a victim. And I don't want to ever trivialize what's happened to you [two] in your lives. I don't mean to trivialize that in any way. That was then, this is now. And I'm not just saying, 'Get over it.' You've got to do what it takes to provide for yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, so you can give it to other people."