The first show with Grant and Kelly touched a nerve with viewers as thousands wrote in choosing sides. Two viewers go head to head. Amy agrees with Grant and James takes Kelly's side.
Dr. Phil asks James, "You say he's living in a total fantasy, why?"
"Absolutely, because I've never known any woman to ever accept criticism from a man very well. At all. I think when you start criticizing, you just start on a downhill slope, and it's not going to get any better for you," says James. "I think he's being unreasonable giving the criticism. I mean, if you want a clean house, there's nothing wrong with that, but I think you should clean it. Coming in and demanding her to clean, to stop what she's doing when she's just as tired as you are, is a little unreasonable."
Dr. Phil turns to Amy, "And you think she's just not doing her job?"
"Exactly. I think that what happens a lot of times in marriages is you come to an agreement of one person staying at home and one person taking on that responsibility, then the stay-at-home person, whether it's the mom or the dad, gets into the situation, realizes it's a lot harder than what they expected, and then doesn't want to be held accountable for their
"I think she makes some good points, and I want to put more energy into trying to be a good wife to Grant, but he absolutely is a priority," she says, with tears in her eyes. She turns to Amy, "And I would not come on TV and let him tell America everything I am doing wrong and be embarrassed if this relationship was not a priority."
"Here's the point. This is Grant's list of wife requirements," says Dr. Phil, holding up four pages. "There are 70 items on here of the list you made of what you think she should be doing."
"I counted 75, I thought," corrects Grant, and the audience reacts negatively. "But those are just things I thought that a wife in general would need to know, not pointed directly at Kelly, but just in general. A wife staying at home ought to be able to handle those things."
"And that list was not complete and it did not include motherly duties," Kelly points out.
"Yeah, this didn't have to do with childcare," Dr. Phil agrees as he reads from the list. "This was just organizing closets; organizing hallway closet; keep the car clean; grocery shopping; cook efficiently; use the oven; use the stove; get rid of the stuff you don't use or need; sew; mend; wash; load and use the washing machine properly; basic routine maintenance on washer, dryer, oven, dishwasher, fridge, freezer, toaster; decorate windows; weekly and monthly cleaning; positioning of furniture; organize videos and DVDs; organize CDs; organize the linen; stock the linen; sanitize the bathrooms; cook Mexican food — so, that's just in general, wives in general need to cook enchiladas — dirty clothes hamper; get country dance lessons, Latin dance lessons, hip-hop dance lessons; and do preventative maintenance relating to common household items." Dr. Phil asks Grant, "Are you a hip-hop dancer?"
"I thought it would be something fun to do," says Grant.
"Your number one question is, 'What is 'it,' the 'it' that you don't get? This is a union of spirit. This is a union of heart. This is a union of acceptance, where you come in and say, 'You know what? She's OK because she is who she is. She's OK because she's Kelly. She's OK because she's the woman I love, she's the mother of my children, and I love who she is not what she does. That's what it's all about. And I recognize that being happy is a choice that I have to make.' And when I say choice, I mean a conscious choice," he tells Grant.
One of Grant and Kelly's disagreements is over some pink curtains that Kelly purchased for their dining room. Grant does not approve of the color. "Part of me wonders if she picked a color that would really agitate me the most," he says.
"Let me give you some personal advice," Dr. Phil tells Grant. "Let me label this as personal experience, because I've been married 30 years and you've been married seven. The home is kind of the wife's domain, and you just need to get really happy about whatever. With Robin, I'll come in sometimes and look at stuff and she's like, 'What do you think?' 'I love it. I love it.' And sometimes I come home at the end of the day, and I think, 'I'm in the wrong house. This wasn't this way when I left.' 'Well, what do you think?' 'I love it. I absolutely love it.' And you just kind of decide, what difference does it make? Some things matter, some things don't matter."