Mad for Joel Madden
"Her obsession with Joel Madden, it's controlling everything she does," says Kirstin's mother, Carol.
"She said that â€˜If I ever met him, I would definitely have sex with him.' That's always in the back of my mind because you never know what happens at these concerts," Carole says. "Her goal is to go to college in California, so she could be out there in his area."
Kirstin's bedroom is plastered with pictures of her crush. She enjoys making signs and holding them up at his public appearances. "This past year, I've seen Joel five times," she says. "The day that I was holding the sign was one of the best days of my life because I actually saw him in person for the first time. The sign read, â€˜The sound of your voice is close to paradise.' When I see Joel, I actually tell him I love him because I'm not going to hide my feelings. I would give up everything to be with Joel. He's pretty much all I need." Still, Kirstin recognizes the need for change. "My New Year's resolution is to fall out of love with Joel Madden," she says.
"The reason I think it's bad for this to happen is because all the energy you're putting into this fantasy, you're not putting into your real life," he tells her. "You're not dating people. You're not getting involved with other
"Well, I wouldn't say that," Kirstin says slyly.
"So what would you put the percentages at?"
"Kind of 50/50. Anything can happen," she says.
"Oh, bless your heart," Dr. Phil says, patting Kirstin's shoulder. "The problem is it's easy. This is easy for you. You're lazy. You're emotionally, relationally lazy, because what are the demands in a one-sided relationship? Zip, zero, nada, nyet. You don't have to do anything except punch up your keyboard. You don't have to be interesting. You don't have to carry on a conversation. You don't have to take care of yourself and be presentable. You can do nothing in a one-sided fantasy relationship, whereas if you get into a real relationship, you have to engage, you have to carry on a conversation, you have to put something into it, you have to navigate and negotiate the ebb and flow of relationships, and that's important for your development, right?"
"Yeah, but, when I meet him, I have to do all that stuff," Kirstin says.
"Yeah, you've spent how much time, total, actually in his presence?"
"Like, an hour?" she guesses.
"So, you're 16 years old, and you spent less than an hour with this guy in 16 years," Dr. Phil summarizes.
Joel has a message for Kirstin: "Hi, Kirstin. I heard you're a big fan of me and my band, Good Charlotte, and I just want to say thanks, but trust me, I'm a very boring boyfriend. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm a good guy, but when I'm home and not out where you may be seeing
Dr. Phil notices the big smile on Kirstin's face. "What she's sitting there thinking is, â€˜He said my name! He said my name! He knows I exist! It just went to 60/40!'" he jokes.