Obsessive Love: Secrets - Jeff

Obsessive Love: Secrets - Jeff

Jeffrey and Dr. Khaleghi, his lead therapist at Creative Care, meet to discuss his progress.

"How would you say you're dealing with the issues that you came in for?" Dr. Khaleghi asks Jeffrey.

"It's hard to give up everything and give in to you guys," he says.

 

"Are you working on getting some understanding so you can move forward with your marriage?" Dr. Khaleghi asks.



"I'm starting to get it, but I still haven't released myself to get everything," Jeffrey says.

"What do you think that is?" Dr. Khaleghi probes.

"Just me. I'm the only one standing in my way right now," Jeffrey admits. "Believe me, before I came in here, I wanted to manipulate you."

"When you look inside, have you been able to identify the triggers for your anxiety?"

"Yeah," Jeffrey says. "Some of the triggers are validated, but my reaction to it was wrong, and I know that my reaction was wrong, and I'm learning how to not have that reaction. But to control the anxiety, it's hard. I've had some, you know, days where I just cry all day, and I'll have days where I'll get angry and go running down the driveway."

"I've been able to manipulate your system here to do things that I shouldn't be doing," Jeffrey admits. He explains that he signed up

for computer time and then checked Jennifer's e-mail and her MySpace page. "Then I turned myself in, and I called Jen," he recalls. "She yelled at me right away."

Jeffrey worries about returning home. "The scary part to me is I'm going to be dropped right back into basically the same situation," he says. "I know it's a lot of work on both ends, if it's even going to work
out."

 

After their session, Dr. Khaleghi shares his thoughts about Jeffrey. "He's not going to really expose himself too much. He's still pretty guarded. He's still trying to not really go into any deep, dark secret," he says. "He really attempted to be as real as he could possibly be without really exposing himself too much. I was OK with that. He's got lots of work to do."

"How you doing?" Dr. Phil asks Jeffrey.

"I'm OK. It's scary," he says. "It made me realize that I have a problem." He comments that he would like to stay at Creative Care for at least another 30 days.

 

"When you came out on stage, you said, 'They can clap for me.' What did you mean by that?" Dr. Phil asks.

 

Jeffrey explains that during the taping of his first appearance on the show, an older woman had a look of shock on her face, and that's the picture he's had in his mind since then.

Dr. Phil reminds Jeffrey that when he agreed to enter Creative Care, he said he would give it 110 percent. "Have you done that?" he asks.

"No, about 90," he says. On the third day, he got a wake-up call when he printed out a picture of his family. "I probably cried for, like, three hours straight, thinking, what a beautiful family, what amazing kids, what a beautiful wife. How I was willing to just throw it all away... Only I can save my marriage, if there's a marriage to save. I can save myself right now, and that's kind of what I want to do."

"Is your marriage dead in the water? Do you think it's headed for divorce?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I wouldn't be surprised, and if that's where I put it, then that's where I put it, and I'll take responsibility for that," Jeffrey says. "All I can do right now is apologize to Jennifer."

"Are you being honest with yourself?" Dr. Phil probes. "Since you've been in the program, you've called her until 3:00 a.m. You've called her a liar and a cheat because of some phone message that was left. You've called her mother and said, 'Your daughter is a whore.' You've called her numerous times across the way, and as a result, I'm wondering if she feels like you really are trying to let go and respect her as a human being."

"I'm not perfect," he says. "I'm not going to only make mistakes in therapy, I'm going to make mistakes out in the real world. I would like couple's counseling even, so that even if we're together or if we're not, that she works on her reaction with me, too, so that it

doesn't trigger me off."

Dr. Phil says that Jeffrey told a producer that he thought he would walk onstage from one side and Jennifer from the other, and their marriage would be saved.

"I would love to end the show where we walk down behind you. You grab your wife's hand, and I have my wife's hand, and we walk off. That would be perfect," Jeffrey says. "But honestly, I don't think it's going to happen, and that's OK."

 

Dr. Phil tells Jeffrey that he is not going to see Jennifer on the show. Addressing Dr. Khaleghi, he says, "You think that he shouldn't see her today because ... ?"

"I think because she's going one direction. Jeffrey's going another direction, and I think it's going to be difficult for him to hear what her direction is," he says.

 

"I was told that I was allowed to, actually, come here and then leave with her and spend two days with her doing outpatient therapy with my therapist," Jeffrey interjects, noting that the staff of Creative Care told him that.

 

"That's not true," Dr. Khaleghi says. "That was your plan. That's what you wanted to do."

While at the treatment center, Jeffrey checked the home answering machine and heard a message from a man. He then called Jennifer seven times in one night to accuse her of having an affair. She finally got to bed at 4:00 a.m. Dr. Phil wants Jeffrey to watch a video of Jennifer's reaction to the calls.


Monday at 12:10 a.m. Jeffrey's therapist, George, calls Jennifer. "He's never going to believe that it's innocent," Jennifer says. "He basically said that this is just another reason for him to do the stuff that he does ... I told him he could call. I said,

'Call, call away. There's nothing going on here.' He goes, 'Well, it's great you got me locked up and now you can just run rampant and do whatever you want.'"

At 12:15 a.m. Jennifer gets another call that goes to voicemail. "I wonder if this is him," she says. Through tears she continues, "I can't have a good time knowing what a mess my life is. That's one of my biggest things is that I don't know what he'll do."

After the call, Jennifer explains, "They said that they're going to heavily sedate him so that he can't leave tonight, and so I can feel safe enough to go to sleep. They also said that they're going to let him call, so I can keep him calm until the medicine kicks in, because they said that if he gets worked up before the medicine kicks in, that it won't work."

Jeffrey calls Jennifer six times.


"I'm starting to wonder if there's a chance that you can even get better, Jeffrey," she says to him. "One minute, you're checking my e-mail, the next minute you're like, 'I really want to stop and not do these things anymore,' and then the next second it's, 'Oh, I checked the messages.'" She assures him that she and the kids want him to get better.

"It's scary to me to think of what you'll do next if you don't get better," Jennifer tells him. "Would you do something bad?"

Back in his studio, Dr. Phil tells Jeffrey, "My point in showing you that is I want you to realize you're not helping yourself when you do that."

"I know," he says, explaining that he wasn't accusing Jennifer of having an affair, but he was accusing her of talking with another person and not telling him about it. When he tried to have a calm conversation with her, he says she called him crazy.

 

Jeffrey says that he is working to be a better person. "I'm excited to get home " whenever that is " to make amends, to build up my business agai

n so I can get us out of the financial wreck we're in," he says. "I'm excited to make things right." 

"Do you think you're ready to go back home?" Dr. Phil asks.

 

"I have a ways to go," Jeffrey acknowledges. "I'd love to go home today, see the kids, hug the kids, get down in the basement, take care of my few clients I have left and bust my ass to make things right."

 

"Do you honestly think that that would be a smart thing to do, even if that was an option?" Dr. Phil presses.

"No comment," Jeffrey says. "I don't know. Would it be the smart thing? Probably not the smartest thing."

 

"You told your therapist that you were leaving after the show today, and you weren't going back to Creative Care. In fact, you packed your bags and brought them with you," Dr. Phil says.

"I was told that I was allowed to stay in the hotel today and tomorrow with my wife and come to outpatient therapy," Jeffrey says.

"Were you planning to go home from there?" Dr. Phil asks.



Jeffrey says he doesn't have an ID or a plane ticket home. "Would I love to? Yeah," he says.

"You told Jen, on a phone call, that you wanted her to tell us that she wanted to spend the weekend with you," Dr. Phil says.

"I said it's up to her," Jeffrey states. "I would appreciate a little bit of teamwork and support, yeah, because without her telling you that, I know that it's not happening for me."


Dr. Phil asks Dr. Khaleghi, "Does he need more work at Creative Care?"

"Absolutely," he says.

"Do you plan to do that?" Dr. Phil asks Jeffrey.

"Yeah," he replies.

 

At the end of the show, Dr. Phil addresses Glenn. "In my opinion, I do think this guy is a danger," he says. "I can't protect her from here. You're on

the ground there with police and court relationships, and you can. And just know that I take that seriously, just for the two cents worth, that I do think he could be unpredictable." He adds that he is providing Jennifer with psychological counseling and support.

 

Don't miss tomorrow's show for the latest update on Jennifer and Jeffrey!