Conquer the Dating World

Dr. Phil and Match.com created the MindFindBindâ„¢ program, so you can conquer the dating world with tips, strategies and insights. Some eligible online daters participated in the program.

 

"I'm Russ, and I'm 41 years old. I'm dedicated to what I do, I have a great sense of humor and I love to go out and have a good time."

"I'm James, and I'm 27. I'm a technology guy, but I also have a creative side. I play guitar and I also make films in my spare time."


"Hi, I'm Terry. I'm 39 years old. I consider myself kind of an old-fashioned type of guy. I'm traditional in my values. I'm honest. I like intellectual conversations. What you see is what you get with me."

Dr. Phil also introduces Lury, Julie and Mosha, three women who have been successful at dating online.

"James, your question was how do you know if somebody has a future? I guess the question becomes what kind of future do you want? If somebody's a good candidate, a candidate for what? What are you looking for?"

"Yeah, that's a good question," says James. "I probably don't even know that myself. Somebody I could have fun with, I guess."

"You've got to decide, 'What am I looking for?'" says Dr. Phil. "For example, if you meet somebody who is really involved with a tight-knit group of people ... they're kind of in the 'we' mode, and they've got a tight-knit group of friends, and they're into the acceptance of the group, so they probably aren't real hungry for a companion at that point. So that would be something you might look at. You might look at their legacy. If their parents have been married for 15 years, and they're happy, then they're probably going to have a good expectation about commitment. If their mother has been married seven times, and it has really been tough, and it didn't go well, then they're probably not going to have that. You've got look at their key people to have some idea of what kind of modeling they've had."

Terry recently learned that he may invade people's personal or physical space without being aware of it.

 

"That's what I mean about getting your mind right before going in. A really big part of forming a relationship has to do with social sensitivity,

has to do with being a really good listener. Look, everyone likes to be a star. If somebody can interact with you, and they go home feeling better about who they are than before they interacted with you, you're going to be really successful in relationships, whether it's personal or at work or whatever. So you truly want to tune in and have some sense of what kind of reaction you're getting," says Dr. Phil.

Mosha and Russ had profiles that indicated mutual compatibility, so Dr. Phil sent them on a unique first date!


"I like someone who is a gentleman but can be fun and playful and has sex appeal," says Mosha before her blind date. "I hope he's not crazy or has bad breath. I just hope it's fun, otherwise I'm running away, and you guys can't stop me."

Russ is also nervous. "I'm anxious. I'm excited. I've never gone on a blind date before," he says. "I'm looking for a woman who has a sense of adventure and hopefully has a good sense of humor. I'm not even interested in physical appearance. Physical appearance doesn't really mean anything. I'm open to anything."

They meet, and Russ gives her a basket of goodies. Soon, they learn what their date entails.  

They approach a door where a man greets them. "Welcome to Hollywood Arial Arts. Today we're going to be flying on the trapeze!"

After some initial hesitation, Russ volunteers to go first. He flies through the air perfectly on his first try. Despite Mosha's extreme fear of heights, she dives in and does just fine. Pretty soon Russ and Mosha are flying through the air like circus pros.

 

Dr. Phil asks them, "So you guys had fun, right?"

"Oh, a great time," says Russ.

"What did you think of the out-of-the-box date?"

"I loved it," says Mosha.

"See, the whole thing we wanted to suggest as an example is if you keep doing the same things over and over, you go to the same places where you know everybody, and they all know you, then you're going to wind up with the same options and opportunities," says Dr. Phil. He advises mixing it up a little, trying out new adventures to open up a whole new array of experiences. "If you try some different things, you can get some different results."