Overweight Brides

Overweight Brides
Dr. Phil talks to a woman who wants to lose 50 pounds before her wedding.
"I haven't been able to lose the weight since the birth of my daughter three years ago," says Rachel, who weighs in at 180 pounds. "I kept thinking I'd lose the weight and I never did, so our wedding has been put off. Now I'm dreading having everyone look at me in my dress."

Says Chris, "When I first met Rachel, she was very physically active, 135 pounds, and yeah, she was gorgeous." Now, he says, "she's hit rock bottom."

Rachel thinks it's ironic that she teaches physical education, but never participates. She is also embarrassed to go out dancing with Chris because she fears what others will think of her size. "I feel very unattractive and I push Chris away. And every time, he gets farther away."

Turning to Dr. Phil, she says, "I've almost hit that humiliating stage where I'm ready to do whatever it takes."
Rachel explains how her weight gain has also changed her personality: "I used to be very outgoing. I would say hi to anybody and I'm not like that anymore."

Dr. Phil points out that Rachel is being influenced by her internal dialogue. "If you're calling yourself 'lazy,' 'stupid,' 'disgusting,' 'fat ass,' — if you really believe those labels that you're putting on yourself — how would you expect to feel after that kind of tongue lashing?"

"I just feel gross and I'm just not a very fun person to be around anymore."
"The only way you can fail is to stop talking to me, because if you keep talking, I'm going to keep pushing, and if I keep pushing, you're going to change some things from the inside out," Dr. Phil assures her. "Here's your biggest problem: Your body image has changed, and it's taken your self-image with it ... You're not a bad person, and you're not stupid or disgusting or gross. You're a wonderful, bright, intelligent beautiful young woman who is out working and contributing to the world and then beating herself up when you get home because of what you read on the scale. If I could snap my fingers and take the weight off of you right now and everything else would stay the same, I wouldn't do it in a million years. I don't want you to walk down that aisle skinnier. I want you to walk down that aisle skinnier, happier, healthier, with a plan with going forward in your life and in your marriage."
Turning to Chris in the audience, Dr. Phil says, "You fell in love with this vibrant, outgoing robust woman and now she's pulling back into a shell, right?"

"Yeah."

"And that bothers you. You want who you fell in love with."

"I want her to be the person that she was several years ago," Chris clarifies.

To Rachel, Dr. Phil says, "To do that, you've got to change what you say to yourself. You've got to change how you handle your emotions. We've got to clean up your environment. We've got to get over some of this impulse eating."

He also says that Rachel needs to start exercising. "Those girls that are doing those flags while you're sitting down? Get a flag," he tells her. "You're going to have to get to moving. You're going to have to get this intentional exercise going. And you've got a lot of people that believe in you, that are around you and are supporting you. And I'm just one of them."